The things that I do, I do because I can? Because I am used to it? I am not sure. Either way, I finished this stupid set, a set which I have to say pushed me far, really far. And I believe it will have the record for 0 star films, and will be rated lower than any boxset so far.
Speaking of, here is the link to the Swingin' 70's Boxset and a link to the Sci-Fi Invasions Boxset. Fuck it. Link this shit up. Gorehouse Greats is here too.
Presen-TED HERE! For YOU! With LINKS! Retrospectives! Reviews! Stars! In the order of how they are written on the booklet in the disc (aka not alphabetical order).
Dear Mister Wonderful: The only film in the boxset I literally turned off. This was slow and boring, Joe Pesci is ok in it. Some guy lives and grows in New York. I turned it off, no stars.
Intimate Agony: At a small beach community where everyone is sleeping with each other, an outbreak of STDs threatens everyone. Made for TV and like a soap opera. Boring. No stars.
Second Sight: A Love Story: A blind woman has always resisted surgery or a seeing eye dog. When she gets robbed and starts a relationship, she'll rethink both those decisions. 3 stars.
A Minor Miracle: Pele stars in this story of orphans who are in a orphanage closing down. The old man who runs the place tries to get Pele to help, and eventually he does. It's okay...2 stars.
Agency: Thriller story of a man working at a advertising agency where shady actions eventually lead to a death and a man on the run. Pretty decent movie keeps you into it. 3 stars upgraded to 3.5.
The Train Killer: Now that I'm done with the set, the good movies really stick out. This was a creepy and strange story of a disenfranchised man trying to derail trains. Good acting. 4.5 stars.
Lamb: Liam Neeson stars in this bizarre story of a priest who kidnaps a boy from a religious school to try and give the boy a better life. It felt a bit undeveloped, we never learn a why. But it's really well acted and the ending was super dark, and I want to read the book. 4 stars, upgraded to 4.5.
My Mom's a Werewolf: An 80's comedy made for the family, which feels 100% exactly what that type of movie should be. The mom is likable, the silliness is in full effect. 2.5 stars.
Bail Out: Linda Blair and David Hasselhoff are bounty hunters out for a kidnapped daughter of a businessman. It's a light action, relatively who-cares flick. Pretty awful, half a star.
When the Bough Breaks: Ted Danson stars in the story of a dead body that turns up, it gets looked into by a psychologist, and it uncovers a shady underground organization. Likeable, 3.5 stars.
The Lady and the Highwayman: This and Hazard of Hearts are based on books, books written about old timey stuffy British people having long, boring relationships. I don't care! No stars.
Liar's Moon: Matt Dillon stars in the story of star-crossed lovers. It's not quite Romeo and Juliet. But, it is entertaining and the actors are good. It has it's charms. Odd twists in the later half. 2.5.
Toby McTeague: Dog sledding adventure! A young boy has a fallout with a father who gets injured. Now the only way to save their family is for Toby to enter a race! Predictable, 1.5 stars...maybe 2.
Dog Day: We begin with a bank robbery, which leads the criminal to a farm in a field where everyone is kinda crazy and hijinks ensue. Impossible to understand, and incredibly bad. No stars.
Scandal Sheet: An alcoholic actor is targeted by a tabloid newspaper, and they decide the best way to get him is to hire a writer who is his friend. Well acted and emotionally engaging. I liked it, 3.5.
Hunk: My intro to the set was a lighthearted comedy, about a nerd who wishes to be a hunk. 80's rom-com with a few laughs and it was entertaining enough. Predictable, sure, but fun. 3 stars.
Choices: Demi Moore is in this story of a star football player who is partially deaf. When this is discovered, it threatens to unravel his world. Plot holes and very undeveloped. 1.5 stars, or 2 maybe.
A Hazard of Hearts: Helena Bonham Carter in another old timey love and romance film. She is won in a card game by a rich baron and surprisingly affection grows. Yawn. 2 downgraded to 1 star.
High Risk: James Brolin leads a group of people who rob a drug lord and are pursued by his gang. Why they thought this plan would work is anyone's guess. Average Z grade action flick. 2 stars.
The Kidnapping of the President: William Shatner is a member of the Secret Service when the president is kidnapped by a crazy terrorist. Really entertaining and keeps you engaged. 3.5 stars.
The Day Time Ended: I opted not to rewatch this movie, I've seen it about 3 times already. I really like it, on multiple rewatches some errors stick out, but it's still a 4 star sci fi flick I'll see again.
Laser Mission: Brandon Lee in a standard action movie I'd seen before. Rewatching it, it's fine but it's so generic and middle road. He's also not very good at acting. It's like 1.5, 2 stars.
Blunt, The Fourth Man: Anthony Hopkins in the story of a British guy who helps the Soviet Union, or that's what it tells me it's about. Watching it, I had no idea what was going on. 2 stars.
Shadows in the Storm: Mia Sara in the type of movie we've seen before. She's a sexy temptress who meets a gullible writer and eventually gets his cash. Dark and odd, has a certain atmosphere. 3 stars.
Cave Girl: Dumb comedy about a nerdy guy who goes back in time and starts dating a cute cave girl. It has really bad comedy, but lots of nudity. It's what you expect. 1.5 stars.
Shaker Run: A mystery woman enlists a racecar driver to carry undisclosed cargo to an unknown location. Action meets thrills in this decent, basic thrills flick. Meh. 2 stars.
Hard Knox: A bunch of misfits are enrolled in a military school led by the tough director Knox. Alan Ruck is great, not in it enough, and the rest is super boring and predictable. 2 stars. I guess.
Reborn: Weird, weird story of a evangelical priest played by Dennis Hopper, who finds and recruits a woman who is suffering from actual stigmata. The atmosphere is unique, ambiguous, with great performances and music. Made me want to see more by director Bigas Luna. 5 stars. Unique.
Saigon: Year of the Cat: Judi Dench is in this story of a woman meeting and falling in love with a embassy worker in Vietnam. Political intrigue film, cause saying "thriller" is overselling it. 2 stars.
Act of Love: Mickey Rourke and Ron Howard lead a interesting film about a pair of brothers. When one is paralyzed in a motorbike accident, he asks his bro to kill him. He does. Now we have a courtroom drama and mystery about why he did it. Based on a true story and really gripping, 4 stars.
Delta Force Commando: Fred Williamson is tracking down guerrillas who have a nuclear bomb. This B-grade actioner felt like a "so bad it's good" fun watch, but still only about 3 stars.
Tuareg: The Desert Warrior: Mark Harmon is Tuareg, a enigmatic desert man who encounters political prisoners who he swears to protect. Odd movie, uneven, but had potential. 2.5 stars.
My Chauffeur: Really dumb comedy about a ditzy airhead girl who becomes a chauffeur at an elite company, and through her smarts and dumb luck solves all her situations. It's a no-brainer. No stars.
Twisted Obsession: Jeff Goldblum is in this weird, uneven story of a writer who meets and becomes intrigued by a young directors sister. I guess it's supposed to be a thriller? It had good parts, 3 stars.
Portrait of a Showgirl: POAS sounded really boring in the writeup: an examination of the lives of three showgirls and their relationships. But, it was decent and well acted. 3 stars, nah maybe 2.5.
Night of the Sharks: I made my ex watch this tame shark thriller with Treat Williams. Watching this movie was no "treat" though. It's mostly bland action and some mild shark thrills. 2 stars.
Tomboy: Tomboy! She's a road runner! Tomboy! Fuck that song man, I still remember it. Tomboy is a stupid, slow, boring movie about a tomboy meeting her racing idol and going up against him. 1.5.
Callie and Son: Did not know this would be a 2.5 hour epic about mother and son and their lives. Whew. It was long, detailed, and had some okay parts I guess, but WOW. Just too much. 2.5 stars.
Slipstream: Again, I opted not to rewatch Slipstream. This movie obviously had potential with the idea and actors and director, but it ends up being too vague and undeveloped. 2 stars for trying.
The Cold War Killers: Terence Stamp in a political thriller about a downed German plane and a race to get the contents which could have huge repercussions. Too much talking is the problem. 3 stars.
We Think The World of You: Slow, slow drama with Gary Oldman as a gay man whose dog becomes a point of contention. I fast forwarded a lot of this boring, bland movie. No stars.
Christabel: Elizabeth Hurley in a huge, sprawling 2.5 hour war drama about a British family in Germany during WWII. Like Callie & Son, a LOT. It's alright, I guess. I gave it 3? No, 2.5.
Mesmerized: I'd wanted to see this before the set. Jodie Foster and John Lithgow as a young woman married to an older man and their bizarre, dysfunctional relationship. Could be my copy was edited, but the story felt incomplete. Though very well acted. I gave it 4.5, but it's more like 3.5.
Somewhere, Tomorrow: I expected a drama, but instead it's a dramedy and even has romance. Sarah Jessica Parker is the only one who can see the ghost of a recently deceased guy. 3.5 stars... or 3.
A Time to Die: Slower version of the classic revenge story. A WWII soldier goes after the Nazis who killed his family and tried to kill him during the war. Pretty average, about 2.5 stars.
Savage Journey: Who knew there was a Mormon history lesson on the set? Brigham Young moves the Mormons around while facing obstacles and persecution. Mildly interesting. 1.5 stars or 2.
Casablanca Express: Action vehicle for Jason Connery as he tries to save a train carrying Winston Churchill which has fallen into enemy hands. Decent middle of the road flick, 2.5 stars.
Scarecrows: This set could've used more horror. One real horror movie on here was above average for a B-horror flick. Killer scarecrows attack bank robbers who are in their cornfield. 3, 3.5ish.
The Patriot: Another middle road action movie, this one involves a guy protecting a nuclear weapon from falling into the wrong hands. Leslie Nielsen and nudity spice it up a bit. 2.5 stars.
Deathrow Gameshow: Another movie I wanted to see before the set! In this actually funny comedy, Chuck hosts a deathrow themed gameshow in a Robocop-like future. Like I said, actual comedy, and entertaining in a strange offbeat manor. I liked it, 4 stars.
Thoughts... Alright, for the record! 18 movies got above a 2.5 score. 21 movies were 2 stars or below. 7 movies were upgraded in my review, 4 were downgraded. I guess that gives the entire boxset a rating of about 2 stars, which feels accurate.
There was no overall "takeaway" from this like the takeaway I had from the Sci Fi Invasion set. Other than this: these movies sucked. Honestly, the bad ones were WAY worse than the bad movies on the 70s or the Sci Fi sets. Compared to some movies in the set, even the Mormon movie wasn't so bad. At least it was real shit, and interesting enough.
Say what you will about the other sets, but at least none of them made me watch a 2.5 hour movie. And two of them nonetheless?! Come ON! No way, do not watch those. They're okay movies but they are not worth the time needed.
As usual, I do not promise to watch all the movies on the Pure Terror boxset. I got other shit to do my friend.
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