Obsession - 1976

 What if Vertigo was horny and weirder?  It's hard to imagine it being much weirder, I mean watch it again if you need to buy that movie is fuckin strange shit.

Brian De Palma is also weird and a self admitted Hitchcock freak, so him remaking Vertigo completely makes sense.  De Palma is also horny in film, like always, and so having that present makes sense.  Does this film make sense?  I mean, yes, in the De Palma way.  Boy, was choosing to watch his filmography a great idea.

A lawyer is coming home and calls his wife, and all is normal, but they are then shortly thereafter kidnapped.  They leave a ransom note demanding $50,000.  Our main character Michael goes to the police who advise that he give them blank pieces of paper, which he does.  The kidnappers flee and get into  car accident, and wife and daughter die.  Now Michael is distraught, and years later even more distraught when he meets a dead lookalike for his deceased wife.

This movie is like Vertigo meets Oldboy.  If you've seen Oldboy you know the twist, and it's about as disturbing in this movie as it is that.  The end is especially fucked up, and damn man, this movie is a strange one.  It was De Palma's first big hit, and watching it now it really feels like a weird mix of De Palma's obsessions and experimental film of the time.  

Something about De Palma's films always seem to be a little bit more hazy, a little bit more gauzy and lurid than a lot of films.  It's not just the subject matter, its also how its shot, and this is a PG movie that oozes sexuality and haziness.  The whole thing feels like a bad acid trip in a good way, not that I've done acid but you know.  

I really like it and it should be mentioned by the De Palma fanboys.  I will say its a slow feeling 92 minutes and its also somewhat predictable in nature but that's because it's been copied, not because it is copying others besides Vertigo.  I give it a 3.5? I guess?

The Meateater - 1979

 One thing I hate about the psychopaths online now is there is some probably super right wing attention whore guy with both a podcast and a video series called Meateater as well.  I mean, you guys, the fuck would that be about?  You're going to talk about meat on EVERY EPISODE?  Who the fuck watches/listens to this bullshit?

Give me mega low budget horror any day of the week.  Meateater is some super obscure low budget flick by a guy with sketchy sounding IMDB credits and actors with about the same.  These types of things have always been a draw for me in the endless search for below-the-radar type affair that I want to "discover" and this was likely added to the list for that exact reason.

Also known as Phantom of the Theatre.  This movie has whiny shoe salesman Mitford reach his breaking point with his job and decide to buy an old movie theater.  Little does he know some crazy killer is living in the place now, and as Mitford brings in staff for the place they start getting stalked by the dude.  There's some fun had a long the way certainly, because this is also a comedy?

There’s nothing super hilarious in this but it tries for jokes and the jokes work… what can I say, it’s not that bad.  The grainy fuzziness to this also really helps. Obscure dark shapes and strange lights give this thing a shit ton of atmosphere, and the simple plot line helps as well.  The theaters first screening ends in the discovery of a body and we go from there.

I really did like this.  It's sleazy and oily, it's slimy.  It has no nudity or blood or even much in the way of effects, so what it accomplishes it does pretty much purely with atmosphere.  It also just feels really genuine and there's some craft evident from the journeyman director.  It has a real late night TV vibe as well, which I really enjoyed.  Much better than the podcast I'm sure.

Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster - 1965

 I'm really trying to come up with any black and white classic sci-fi type movie that I remember from my youth, and I'm not thinking of one.  There's a change that MST3K is responsible for making me like the entire genre, and that's pretty remarkable when ya think about it.

Added this one at the same time as The Hideous Sun Demon and whatever, I am always on the lookout for a strange and trend jumping example of a classic monster movie.  This one has the title, obviously, and it was filmed in Mexico, and is super super late in the type of thing this is.  I wonder what the last "true example" of a movie like this is, and I'd have to think this is up there.  The 50s atomic monster trend was way over by this time, and the black and white movies were almost over as well, so really, what was the last true example?  Night of the Living Dead would come out a few years later of course, but by that time it was a call back, a reframe to a retro style out of their choice, not true "necessity".  

Frankenstein is used here as a comparison sort of, this is not Mary Shelley's bolt-necked monster.  Rather it is a robot creation run amok.  The timing of this is also crazy cuz this Frank creature is out at the same time that aliens invade, so now Frankenstein is going to go up against these makeup clad invaders in a battle with the human race caught in the middle!

There's not a ton of demarcations in this about the 1965-ness of it.  You could be forgiven if you didn't guess this was that late, and that could be taken as either good or bad I suppose.  It feels like just "another one of these" level, and not in a bad way.  The "these" I refer to there, I like.  They're genuine and they're not self aware or trying too hard unlike a ton of things that existed a little bit then and a lot now.

The makeup and acting level is nothing you haven't seen before, but that's all part of the genuine level of this flick.  These are another example of a thing I miss, just low scale sci fi fun thrillers (?)  that didn't need to redefine the genre, just come out and exist and do fine.  

I can't say it's one of the best or anything, but its right in that realm of whatever fun monster movies.  It is less than 90 minutes and goes by painless.  3 stars.

Mr. Magoo - 1997

 When Airplane came out in 1980 is changed the career of Leslie Nielsen.  Notated on his Wikipedia is the film he did in 1987, Nuts, with the remark "final non-comedy role".  For an actor who was around for another 20 years, that's pretty insane.

He was in a giant list of comedies after Airplane, pretty much entirely satires and spoofs, and they ranged from the great ones like The Naked Gun to the dismal ones like 2001:  A Space Travesty.  Last year I watched that one along with Naked Gun 1-3 and Spy Hard.  This particular comedy, Mr. Magoo escaped me when I was younger and into these, though I really really remember seeing this video cover ALL the time when I was a kid.

I am probably more familiar with the animated original series than some people, wherein a bumbling almost blind old man gets into shenanigans and manages to still solve crimes, ala Inspector Clouseau, which this is basically trying to be.  

This starts and jokes include him picking something off a hat and eating it because he thinks its catering...ya breathe a big sigh and get ready for the comedy level in this which is....pretty dull.  It's a hard thing to define because literally almost the exact same joke is what masters like Zucker Abraham Zucker will do, but maybe its the novelty, the performance, the commitment, who knows why that works when this really does not.

The movie goes along and something about a jewelry heist is uncovered as what Magoo is up against.  It of course involves plenty of convoluted setups Magoo can destroy with his bumbling, comedic violence, and the like.  Its directed by Jackie Chan collaborator Stanley Tong and it has enough energy behind it from that angle, it is just the comedy that is somehow not funny in the least, and the retread of the same jokes again and again and again that weren't funny the first time and certainly aren't the tenth time.

It was a bomb and it got bad reviews and no one remembers it existed almost 30 years ago.   I give it a star for its trying to be what it can be.

The Exorcist II: The Heretic - 1977

 I'll admit it, I am not a huge fan of The Exorcist, and I will rewatch it for this entry now because I fucking LOVED this movie and it made me interested.  Also, here is my previous review of Exorcist III.

This movie was infamously a troubled production and was something of a bomb, even though it made money it massively underperformed and critically was disliked to a massive degree, especially when one compares it to the original film, which is I think still on many lists of the best films ever made.  Its hard to outdo William Friedkin, but I am a giant John Boorman fan as well and this made me curious to dig deeper into both of their filmographies.  Filmographies.  My next "thing"?

Linda Blair is back, this time paired with Richard Burton and Louise Fletcher.  Later James Earl Jones and Max Von Sydow show up in this incredible cast.  Regan has been taken to a care facility after the events of The Exorcist, and there she is put with Fletcher as Dr. Tuskin, who is using a flashing light device to hypnotize her and try to figure out WTF is going on.  Burton as Father Lamont enters and is put under as well, and soon enough ol' Pazuzu's name is mentioned...she's baaaaack!!

But wisely enough this is not just a retread of the first movie.  No, it investigates the origin of Pazuzu a little bit, Von Sydow's past, global consciousness, and other religions and other belief systems.  That's because part of the this story is a possession in Africa that was in Sydow's past, and dear fucking lord are those scenes cryptic, captivating, and incredible.  

This thing is made with that type of pure command of filmmaking that I love.  Its steady, it's innovative and its brilliant without being flashy or too much.  This thing looks dynamite with the right gravitas, eerie surreal quality, great acting, and creepy score.  They go for a different type of terror in this, which is perhaps why I could be saying Exorcist 2>Exorcist 1.  I don't care about demons or religion, but I do care about locusts and incredible sets of Ethiopia.  Ohhh yeah.

This has been in the back of my mind for a super long time ever since I read about it after seeing Exorcist.  I'm glad I finally got to see it.  5 stars.

Frankenhooker - 1990

 Look, I’m arguably not giving some of these the best chance. Frankenhooker is not supposed to be watched at 5am, sober, drinking coffee. That is not what the filmmakers wanted. 

You’re supposed to see this movie stoned and drunk and with friends. It should come with all three of those, like a kit. It doesn’t, so I didn’t watch it that way. 

Added at the same time as Nudist Colony of the Dead et all, when I thought I could solo enjoy this type of thing like the camp trash it is. 

Jeffrey is a potentially brilliant scientist who can’t keep a job and so is running his experiments out of his home, such as his new remote control lawnmower. This mower kills his girlfriend, and police find all her body parts except her head. That’s cause Jeffrey stole it and now attempts to reassemble her body using hookers he finds downtown. 

A comedy, fast moving, decent effects, 75ish minutes but it’s still about 50 something till you see the Frankenhooker. Theres low brow dumb fun before that and the last 25 minutes are pretty great, but I’ll still say this is a little boring till that point. 

Most of the jokes are pretty dumb and the movie knows it, so it puts in silly monsters and nudity, and you know… it gets halfish-way-there. So 2.5?

Return to Sleepaway Camp - 2008

 In 2000 or so Robert Hiltzik announced the sequel to Camp and started a long laborious process of getting it made. Then he put this in the can in 2006 or so where it say waiting for the cgi for a while to eventual release in 2008. 

For some godforsaken reason we follow shitheel Allan, the most annoying and pathetically written fat piece of shit character I’ve seen in anything in a while. The movie plays like it’s going to make him the killer by having the other kids fuck with him constantly and by making him threaten people a lot. 

This seriously goes on for like 55 minutes while in the meantime there's a couple cops around, and one of them uses a mechanical voice box to talk. You instantly know there’s something up with that, and you sit there waiting like a fucking idiot while this keeps going and going and going. 

I haven’t felt this much like wanting to fast forward something in quite a long time. 

The first kill begins at minute 55 and it brings back some of the creative kills this series is known for. Dear lord though this is truly a case if they did not have enough material for a full length movie and added PADDING. 

There's zero surprises and zero intigue and also they said goodbye to the nudity??  This is one of the worst things I've seen in a long time.  Zero stars.

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers /Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland - 1988/1989

 I'm combining these in a review partially because they were filmed at the same time, and partially because I don't really have a ton to say about either one.

We begin with Unhappy Campers, a relatively bad subtitle.  Its a dumb play on a already dumb saying?  That's what you're going with?  

The original Sleepaway Camp I saw for the first time in the last 5 years or so, and is so bizarre and such an obvious rip off of Friday the 13th that its fun to see another whodunit in that style.  Spoilers I guess that it reveals that the seeming innocent final girl Angela turns out to be the killer and also a man in the the freaky, cryptic final shot of the movie.

5 years later another camp is getting set up, telling scary stories around a campfire.  Someone tells the story of the original Sleepaway Camp and Angela comes and kills her.  Then... well, the same thing happens again and again.  Teenagers transgress in the normal fashions with drugs, sex, being a dipshit, being mean, etc.  Angela comes after them in turn and kills them.

You know, its fine.  And if you liked it, well, part three is more of the same.  Another camp, and Angela runs down one of the counselors in the beginning, kills her, takes her place and goes to the camp.  Teenagers get picked off.  

The kills in both are in a range from pretty decent to practically the lowest tier of ability.  Something awesome like a practical tent they light on fire is equally met with someone who instantly dies from being hit with a medium size log once.  

Filled with many breasts, there's very little else to say except maybe one thing.  Just because you're not going to have another twist ending or anything doesn't mean you need to follow the killer this much, reveal this much, and have no tone.  Nothing is suspenseful, nothing makes an impact.   Nothing matters in these, its pretty much a straight line with no variation.  Its more about what order the people will die in than virtually anything else.  And for that, you know...  2 stars each.

The Lair of the White Worm - 1988

 Ya throw on The Lair of the White Worm and you know, you can feel this should've existed in the 70s.

Except that it has Hugh Grant and some 80s comedy elements, this type of slow bizarre horror was not around in the 80s usually.  

This movie is loosely about a snake sorta vampire lady that has various powers and fucks with Hugh Grant and his little camaraderie group.  That's the extremely short version.  They find a cool weird skull and that seems to summon the creature in question, and Hugh and his hapless buddy Angus go up against the ancient lore and the incredible power of the snake lady.

We got nudity, we got bumbling British comedy, we got a bizarre cross-section of Dracula and Pagan mythologies infused with some classic Freudian concepts which interest director Russell.  Apparently he read this Bram Stoker book he described as sub-par and decided it would be better if it also had some of his own ideas, and filled in some of the gaps with his own stuff.  

Some of the 70s stuff could be parsed out, like for example this feels very slow and repetitive despite being 90 minutes.  Its also really hard to track as to "what's going on" at times, and the rules to what's going on seem to shift with whatever the person (likely the one behind the camera) felt like they wanted to do at the time.

Far from a true hidden gem, but still maybe a under-discussed horror movie, I get this one constantly confused with The Serpent and the Rainbow.  It's interesting that this certainly feels "different" and that is due surely to Ken Russell.  Pretty decent, I'll throw it 3 stars.

Deadly Snail Versus Kung Fu Killers - 1977

 Seriously guys how did I nail the year 1977?  Its almost scary.

Okay so various years are reported and my gut instinct is closer to 1973, but you know I'll take it.  This is me in the time of sorta two years or so into the blog I begin to feel like exploring some martial arts stuff like the Shaw Brothers, which naturally leads me to trying to find the more obscure and strange of that type.  

Around this time I go see Crocodile Fury in theaters at the Alamo Drafthouse, and likely this gets added to the list at that point, when that briefly inspires me.  I have also reviewed Robo Vampire, which is another thing in this category.

This movie does in fact have a snail that the character finds and gives blood to, which then gives him superior fighting skill.  That does indeed happen in this strange and unique movie.  Now the snail power is up against some demons and that will all be fought in the strangest Kung Fu fights set against an extremely obvious set of blue sky and fake plants.

This is a comedy of course, and I will say I found it to be light and easy enough in tone.  It doesn't linger too much in the plot obviously, and instead there's plenty of medium entertaining Kung Fu and there's plenty of old guys talking.  There's not a TON to talk about here.

The sky blue set and the action there are a bizarre and surreal highlight.  I couldn't find a pic.  The rest, there's some off color humor and there's some likable characters and actors and sequences.  I give it a 3.

Lisztomania - 1975

 Am I trying to decide on my next theme right now?  The truth is I am almost done with "the list" and something like a watch of all of Ken Russell's films would be pretty appealing.  I could also circle back and finish Brian DePalma.  I am definitely drawn to the idea of watching someone's entire filmography.

History suggests that Franz Liszt was one of the earliest examples of celebrity infatuation that would rival modern day idol worship that was happening around this time in the 70s with the Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Who, etc.  These bands were huge, and they had been releasing intensely detailed, thematic pieces as they tried to graduate rock music from simple "fun time" to "art piece".  So why not take that trend and make a movie about the OG celeb musician Franz Liszt?

I mean, I'm not really asking because I could really see plenty of reasons not to do this, but they did, and I watched it as part of my Ken Russell journey.  Previously I have reviewed The Devils, I have seen Altered States and Tommy, and I recently rewatched The Lair of the White Worm.  If we had to compare this to Tommy, which I think we do, I guess I liked Tommy more, but really....this stuff is just not for me.

A possible rewatch and review for Rocky Horror is coming, especially after I realized that I haven't seen it since 1999 or 2000, which means a long time has passed since I watched it til now than from when the movie was first released until I saw it for the first time.  Crazy shit dude.  Its also showing on Oct 30 at a theater near me.

Anyways I mention this because much like my memories of Rocky and my review of Phantom of the Paradise, this kinda stuff I just don't really "get".  I really appreciate the energy and the effects in this movie, and this is way more entertaining than Phantom and Rocky Horror, but I don't really know what's going on or why, and part of it could be the sensibility, part could be the British-ness, part could certainly be that I tune out the songs, but honestly I just probably don't care enough.  

There's a lot in here and a lot of it looks great, and you can have a decent enough 3.5 star time with that whole thing.  The rest of it, well, I got not much else to say on that.