Dog Day - 1984

I guessed "1983 or so."
I thought this would be a rip of Dog Day Afternoon, and let's just say it right now:  It should have been.  It really should have, cause this movie....  well, let's wait for the review.

The 80's set is a sprawling motherfucker with twists and turns.  Twist me up for some good and bad, and so far mostly middle of the road-ish, average-ish reviews.  I have to say, so far...it's the worst of the three sets.  So far.  It can still change my mind.

So we start Dog Day with an aging villain committing a robbery, getting into a gun fight with the cops, and narrowly escaping, being chased by helicopters and such.  He is running through a field and finds a farm house.  He decides to hide out in the farm house and buries the money in the tall grass, and as he makes his way into the farmhouse we meet all the residents...

Spoilers, cuz who the fuck cares.  Not even sure what a "spoiler" for this movie would really be, actually.  The collection of people he encounters there are all crazy or weird or both, or at least terrible actors.  There's the kid who's rich and smokes, there's the horny sex freak woman who wants to bone everybody, there's the mystery woman who likes the main character criminal, there's the black guy who we barely see, there's the couple old guys I got confused as to who is who, and there's a few others who are insignificant.

Dog Day is literally watching all these weirdos interacting, sometimes with the criminal fellow, and sometimes not.  The money is discovered and changes a few hands...  Cops come around and interactions are had...  Criminal man talks to a few farm folk and some things happen, sort of...  but generally, we watch random, terribly put together scenes take place.  Which ones are important and which are not, I don't know, because any semblance of a plot at this point is gone.

I'm willing to bet the script outline was something like:  "Guy gets money from robbery, goes to farmhouse with crazies (we'll improvise the rest)"

This movie tested my patience, it tested my sanity, it just generally tested everything.  It was barely over 90 minutes and felt like it was hours long, it dragged and was dull, it made no fucking sense, and it basically had no redeeming factors.  The pan and scan, not to nitpick, cause it was not really the filmmakers fault, was horrible, and a lot of time you can't see what's happening...  As if they needed to make this turd even worse.

Yeah.....  this one was a real dud.  I give it a fat zero.