Sunday, December 22, 2019

A Hazard of Hearts - 1987

I thought this was called When the Bough Breaks, but that's another movie on the boxset.

Helena Bonham Carter is from England?  How is it that I didn't know that?  I watched the beginning of this movie thinking, she does a good British accent for an American.

Long before she was saddled up with Tim Burton and his sorry excuses for recent films, Helena played Serena in this made for tv movie, the first made for tv I've seen on the set.  No, the other one I guessed was made for tv was not.

What is this...  this is a lot like the one on the 70s boxset aka "the set we don't talk about anymore".  Brief research tells me I'm thinking of the movie Jane Eyre.  This felt similar to that because they're both these old-timey love stories set in the good ol' days of yore when gentlemen wore cravats and other strange adornments, and women of high society talked about sex in strange, coded messages.  It's all very Jane Austen again, and it's not my bag man.

But...  I watched it.  Helena plays Serena, a young girl whose father loses her in a dice game to a rich old scumbag.  Then the scumbag loses her to this hot young thing Lord Byron.  Lord Byron doesn't know who she is, but now officially owns the poor girl, and they meet.  What they don't expect is a mutual attraction to form.  Also, Lord Byron's mother is caught up in illegal stuff, and also that scumbag dude is still after Serena.

Blah, I dunno.  It is what it is.  I can't complain that much.  If this type of thing is your bag, you might dig it.  I'll just give it a 2.

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