Bloody New Year - 1987

Sigh.  I just work better in the movie realm when I have an "assignment" these days.  With that in mind, I recall my old (really, really old) list of movies I wanted to see.  This date back to pre-blog, like probably started this in 2013 or so.  So therefore, this is like, the oldest desires I've had to watch.  I think I have seen a few of these like Rottweiler and Pin, but some of these I guess I'll rewatch?  Anywho here's the list:

Razorback 1984

Bloody New Year 1987

Wizard of Gore 1970

Xtro 1-3

Rottweiler 2004

Nightmare in Blood 1977  some boring looking vampire movie, not sure why its on here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtKVeOmUyww  Zontar the thing from Venus

Robot Wars (1993)

Chinese Hercules  1973 – Bolo Yeung, looks great

Deadly Snake Versus Kung Fu Killers (1977)

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

The Hideous Sun Demon – classic b&w sci fi

From Hell It Came (1957) tree trunk monsters

Weasels Rip My Flesh (1979)

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) – when Troma was still decent

Horror of the Blood Monsters (1970) – another ok looking vamp film

Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)  - backwoods Chainsaw

Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965) – classic b&w scifi

Nudist Colony of the Dead (1991)

Thunder of Gigantic Serpent (1988) – Canadian giant monster movie!

The Meateater (1979)

Play Dead (1985)    killer animals

Alien 2: On Earth (1980)

Pin (1988)

Torso 1973

The Washing Machine (1993) sex thriller which may also have an evil washing machine

Remote Control (1988)   Blue Sunshine director

The Dragon Lives Again 1977          

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_3  the creepers / the crawlers 1993  -  Contamination .7

Frankenhooker (1990)    trashy comedy horror

Rawhead Rex (1986)

Night Train to Terror (1985)             retro lookin thriller

Blind Dead Series: Return of the Evil Dead, Ghost Galleon

Phantasm series

Don’t Look in the Attic

Again, I paste this in to have an easier time later as I work through this.  I also think a little retrospective on "why was this on my list" is something I'll include for each one.

Bloody New Year is a bizarre movie with some ambition and some know how, but a bizarre execution.  It is made by Norman J. Warren, a director I liked with Terror, Prey, Satan's Slave and I think I have seen Inseminoid but I guess I didn't review it.  This is him doing a haunted house / creepy location movie, a trope which I'm usually kinda mixed on.

Likely on the list because of the proximity to a slasher, I doubt I added this because of director Warren.  This is decidedly not a real slasher, though it has some elements, and it has other unexplained random phenomena happening in it, which gives the effects a good mention here.  They're good, and they're often.  It's one of those where the ghosts can make like anything happen, such as making snow fly inside or having an animal carving attack someone.  Those types of crazy shenanigans in movies are always way fun.

90 minutes of a fun whatever throw away British thriller will work, ya know!  I give it a solid 3.  Its nothing special but its above some of them.

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh - 1995

 I am following up on watching the third Candyman film which I reviewed a little minute ago here.

Candyman as a trilogy is, I think, ultimately forgotten.  The first one didn't need sequels, and the two they delivered, like hey.  They tried, and what else do you expect them to do?  They don't sour the original and they don't elevate the original, they just exist.  

Farewell to the Flesh is one of those horror and sequel things we've seen where it's same thing, different...place?  As we move to New Orleans and a teacher there is teaching about folklore, they raise Candyman again and he is off to kill some more people.  New lore introduced is a mirror that could be a reason to Candyman's existence, and a possible way to defeat him.

Veronica Cartwright is in here as a mom, and overall this is like...fine.  It got middling reviews and certainly it doesn't elevate the story, but it is more of the wash rinse repeat approach.  Which you know, will push some people away but will also be fine, especially for die hard horror fans.  It has some cool moments and decent effects, and it plays well for a late night "whatever" flick.

Adam and Eve - 1983

 Where does one start with this particular pic?

Man. I thought I’d seen it all. This is, as stated before recently even, why I do this. I seek things out to discover an Italian schlocky adventure film about Adam and Eve from the 80s with nudity and talking snakes and fucking and lunacy. 

Adam is created and makes Eve from sand. They live in innocence until Eve discovers the apple tree with a tempting snake. Once she and Adam eat the apple, they promptly fuck, which puts them in clothes and forces them out of Eden. They wander until they reach a tribe of savages who confront them. 

With an 80s soundtrack and all “giving a shit” thrown to the wind, this is a regular romp. Movies this fun are few and far between. It’s purely insane in a so bad it’s good way while being keyword entertaining. Not that much truly happens, but the plot is linear, which really helps it. 

Hard to describe, it’s just so much a product of its time and it’s so genuine. I texted my buddy last night about The Evil Dead and how the remakes are so obviously not having fun.  You can feel the energy behind the camera in Evil Dead which vanishes when you get to the 2013 one.  This movie, you can feel the energy in this as well.  And it's infectious.

One of the more memorable movies I've seen recently, I loved this.  It has Mark Gregory from The Bronx Warriors and Thunder Warrior in it, and he's a compelling presence on screen.  Made it significantly more fun, I'll say that much.  I give this 4.5 stars.

The Last Island - 1990

 1990??!!  I was going to guess like 1981!  My god.

I put on a movie that said desert island and end of the world, and I'm like, hey cool.  I liked The Quiet Earth.  I liked Miracle Mile.  I liked Cast Away.  What I don't like though....endless dialogue.

I mean, dear lord is this boring.  There's a decent looking aftermath of a plane crash, and that might be the only good thing about it as people stand around and I guess "drama" happens?  Yo, this is is a boring as fuck film that I genuinely turned off, but will review anyways,

Attack Force Z - 1982

 Also known as Z Men.  No, I'm not still in New Zealand.

But, I did put on this Australian war drama with Mel Gibson and Sam Neill basically because it had the two of them in it, and also because one sentence synopsis always sound pretty decent at minimum.  Australians in China fighting Japanese?  Good cast?  I'm in!

The thing this doesn't tell you is that its a long feeling talky drama about more hide and go seek warfare than action.  Mel Gibson leads a group who find a small village and descend upon a house where Chien Hua lives with a bunch of neighborhood kids and they hang out there waiting for the Japanese.  The Japanese have been in control around these parts and have been oppressive so the village is willing to help them, and a romance even blooms between Chien and one of the soldiers. 

Almost more interesting than this review was the thought I had in my head as I watched...  Is this my least reviewed genre?  I mean, within a certain scope right, like I probably haven't done much musicals or comedies, but like I don't stick to a format and war films probably fit right in with my format.  Yet I've done very little of them.  And I actually really like war movies, I used to watch The Thin Red Line and stuff like all the fucking time.  

This really hits a big road block as the men hang out with the kids and the relationships build.  Maybe, maybe if you're in the right mood, but still....its done better elsewhere.  I want to give it basically credit for the cast and some mild tension moments, so it can have like a 1.5

Blood Run - 1994

 Mid 90s serial killer looking thing? I’ll take it. 

I start Blood Run and in the first 10 minutes theres a nude chick using a shower head to maybe masturbate, followed by a lesbian scene. Yes, this is made for tv softcore feeling trash cinema. At its purest. 

I watched this in part with my gf, who’d never seen anything like this before. She was genuinely shocked, which I loved. And for “what this is”, this movie is great. With a variety of faces you’ll know from one thing, like the druggie mom from The Crow, the chick from Hellraiser, the dude from Cyborg Cop, theres even another chick from Children of the Corn 4!

The cast is an immediate elevation, and then the nudity. Unfortunately it’s a talky cop centered drama about a serial killer and not a slasher. He is on some case, meets The Crow’s mom, she goes topless(?!) and theres some killings or something I guess thrown in there. 

They just absolutely do not make this kind of thing anymore. Super low brow and cheap, softcore, late night, half drunk, half chub, dumb dad entertainment. This is the kinda crap I remember my dad watching, this and the stupidest comedies you’d ever think of. 

I kinda loved it, but it’s boring as sin still, and theres better versions of this. But I’m giving it at least a 2 for what it gets right. 

Godmonster of Indian Flats - 1973

 Mildly clunky name...  am I still doing that?  3/10

Godmonster of Indian Flats I'd oddly heard of before, and not seen.  Perhaps on the C or D tier of known horror movies involving giant monsters or some list similar to that is this bizarre, low budget sheep monster movie.  Is it weird that this is not the first sheep attack movie I've reviewed?  Yes that's right, and I have to imagine Psycho Sheep of Butte was at least mildly inspired by this.

There's a new black Sheriff in a small cowboy town, and that creates a bit of problems as there is also a big, decent looking sheep monster that is going around causing trouble.  This goes on in this kinda plotless, whatever movie.

Quite slow, quite long feeling, this is fine borderline bad or good at parts, depending on your mood.  Amateur as fuck, where theres a shot in the movie that’s got a hose shooting up water into the frame if the shot… like come on guys. That’s so obvious, so distracting. But when the giant mutated sheep is preying on kids… best shit ever. 

On a low energy Monday this is a fine time waster to zone out to and tune in for the cool parts. 1.5 stars

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb - 1964

 Perhaps one of the more famous clunky titles of all time?  Is this the best known?  I give it a 10/10 on the clunk-ometer.

This movie has always been a bit of an anomaly.  As I grown in age and movie versed-ness, I have a grown profound depth of appreciation for Kubrick's Barry Lyndon, Eyes Wide Shut and Killer's Kiss.  Naturally, love for him began where it likely always does with 2001, Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Full Metal Jacket - sort of the "big four" of the Kubrick movies.  I've seen Paths of Glory and Spartacus each about 3 times, and The Killer I really love as well.  I used to own Strangelove, and I took it as like...B+ tier Kubrick.  I found it very funny and the production of course is incredible.  We'll see with this rewatch.  So in a way, it leaves Lolita in a bizarre section for me of underseen.  Appreciated, but relatively unknown. 

This movie was my introduction to Peter Sellers and is perhaps an infamous dark comedy.  Just out of curiosity it made me wonder, what are the first examples of satire and dark comedy in film in general?  And honestly I feel like the genre was left alone after the early satire of silent comedies like Modern Times and The Dictator.  It made me remember that I thought recently with the film One Battle After Another...  give me more satire.  It can be so transcendent, so biting, so smart, so funny.  It can really be the best.

As a plot recap, a General exceeds his authority and issues a strike command on Russia.  This command will code all further communications to need a three letter decrypter.  We follow a specific plane on its route to Russia, we follow the General and his assistant in a dialogue where we expose the decision to exceed authority, and lastly we go to the President in his war room with his officials as they work through the problems and the precarious situation.

Starkly dark, I forgot about the depth of the insanity of General Ripper played by Sterling Hayden.  I forgot about how funny the President and his conversation - one sided - with the Russian president is.  And the comedy acting from George C. Scott is tone perfect.  As I watched it, I began to think that this is maybe the best performances in any Kubrick film, which is really saying something.  

Also, did I forget this or did it fly over my head...  Ripper clearly says his reasons for doing this, for endangering the world and for throwing everything to chaos.  He describes fatigue during intercourse, in a devoid of emotion way where we can see that here is a man that evaluated himself in such little insignificant ways that when he sensed his partner was unsatisfied he decided to nuke the world.  Normal aging and normal libido issues of a pathetic male will destroy the world, and that moment is so dark along with his subsequent suicide is such a crazy dark moment in this film that I forgot about.

So on rewatch it's like, is this only because it's a comedy that this is not lumped in with the other big ones, like 2001?  I mean, this is absolutely A+ tier.  This is one of the best satires, one of the best comedies, its shot incredibly, and its astonishingly well production-designed.  They infamously got in trouble for being TOO accurate, which is hilarious.  Maybe it is just going to show that comedy is always looked down on, in some ways.  But this is for sure a five star film,