This is actual porn. I expected softcore with a plot and more of "that kind" of thing. Also, I wonder if there are still the theaters showing porn these days. I wonder when that stopped being so much of a thing. I'm sure there were protests, lawsuits, arrests, which ended that whole fad. But it's fascinating because these DVDs come in a case that shows all the old advertisements and fliers for seeing these porns, in actual theaters. Where presumably you could jerk it.
Vinegar Syndrome put out this double DVD pack and I put it on last night, in a weird mood I guess. I enjoyed a glass of cheap wine and watched Carnal Highways first.
Carnal Highways is the story of two aimless dudes who buy a semi truck, and they're eager to hit the roads to deliver their load of desks to San Francisco. They know that truckers apparently have a reputation for being horny all the time, and so they are also looking to get laid. They encounter a woman who first recounts a lesbian experience before both truckers fuck her. Then they continue on, having sex with many women before the end scene where they deliver the desks and group sex ensues.
Carnal Olympics is a kinkier story. There is a competition on to see which porn actress is the best, and naturally the way to decide this is to have the actresses engage in a lot of porn. They have a threesome lesbian scene first, then group sex, then they have to seduce police officers. In the end, there is like a 30-40 minute group sex scene where every guy jerks off into a bucket!
There's so much to say about this double set. First of all, the actor in Carnal Highways who plays the Mexican dude was not hard most of the movie. In fact, one thing I noticed is that a lot of the times the dudes would start off flaccid and the girl would have to excite him. Seems like every guy I see in porn now is rock hard from instant one. Second off, the hairy girls and the hairy armpits is of course different. Full on pubic hair, hairy armpits, it's just not seen anymore. And of course, the difference in girls bodies. They went for a theme here, having really tall women. And some of their breasts and other bodies are just not seen in porn nowadays, which I think is kinda too bad.
Was it hot? Yes, I think so. I found myself aroused. Hell, I'll say it, I masturbated to one of the police seduction scenes. They have anal sex once on the DVD, the lesbian scenes are good, and the long orgy scene in Carnal Olympics is pretty phenomenal.
I haven't reviewed true actual porn on this site, nor was it ever my intention to. But this is honestly really fun to revisit. The dialogue is as bad and forced as you remember from being a kid, the music is wacky, the acting terrible. The people fucking look like some person you'd see at a book store, and that's both refreshing and hot in a way. Porn, plots aside, used to be way more realistic. I think we can all agree on this. Also, the camera work and angles are more like real sex too. You don't see a lot of insertion or anything else like we see now. Sometimes the closeups are on literally two blurry thighs sort of moving.
I'd recommend it for fun, definitely. 3 stars.
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