Weasels Rip My Flesh - 1979

 You name a movie the same as a Frank Zappa album, it sounds like a killer weasel movie, you are an underground cult sounding oddity, you’re gonna get added to the list ok? You’re just going to, fact. 

This movie is 67 minutes long and the first ten are just cold open basically, not unconnected but almost. So we have an under hour long flick here, and how bad can it be? 

Weasels Rip My Flesh is made on a budget of supposedly $500 by high school students on Super 8 filmstock.  It features a plastic shark they supposedly found in the trash, cardboard and trash bag monsters, and nothing even close to a real plot or effects or anything of the sort.

Amateur Z grade normality for the most part, we've seen it before.  This specifically reminded me of The Milpitas Monster, a similar low budget 70s curio that begs the question "how did these get any distribution"?  It truly seems like if something was made, period, it would eventually get to that level of being shown.  I mean...does that not define a certain measure of success?  

Sure no one made money or a career out of this, but someone is still watching this 47 years later, so say what you will about low budget trash made for no one for no money.

The Washing Machine - 1993

 Its interesting as I go through these and I write out the reasons why they were on my list, a lot of the reasons are similar.  This is on there for the same reason as From Hell it Came.  These are both "they made a movie about killer x?  what does that look like?"  In that case the tree monsters in this one a killer washing machine?

But no, it doesn't have a killer washing machine, spoiler alert.  Yeah, pretty sure I thought this had a killer washing machine in it ala Death Bed: The Bed that Eats, a movie I certainly watched during my time writing this that I guess I did not review.  Unfortunate.  There's a few of those movies that you watch and stick with you and that is one of them.  Eh, maybe I'll rewatch.

The Washing Machine isn't one you watch that sticks with you.  This is a Giallo that comes as late as 1993 and doesn't try anything really new except putting the bodies in a washing machine at a few points.  Its a jilted lover plot with plenty of nude women flashing breasts while people kill them, and its about as next level as that makes it sound.  Not to slam it or anything.  Its just, you know, only that.

It has a great soundtrack and it has some great nudity and it works on a few levels, so I give it like a 2.5

Nudist Colony of the Dead - 1991

 I’m writing this down because of the high chance this movie never tops its first joke. A fake THX sound and box appears and it says “the audience is squinting” before it gives its own Super 8 logo. Honestly…brilliant. And hilarious. 

Again going to me trying to find hidden gem underground cult movies and dialing up Troma or Full Moon adjacent “stuff” that I add to the list.  I think part of this whole cult movies thing is sort of a custodian-ship.  To be the guy that introduces friends to fun movies, super unheard of underground trash that's great to dial up when y'all are staying up til midnight crushing PBRs.  So this is likely part of an attempt to find fun watches, and like I said before my solo enjoyment of these has always been limited.

If they're fast paced enough, especially a comedy that still works is going to be a decent enough time.  Also this era is usually less meta than things would get later, so that's giving them an advantage right off.  Guys, lets end meta okay?  As a culture?  Can we, please?

Of course, comedy has always been specific, and this movie reminds me of a style that is just not around anymore. It’s been takes over both by culture and by different styles. What I mean is there used to just be a "standard joke" that you would get across the board in many things - think of the joke of a woman's eyeshadow forming rivers when she cries - that type of joke that you would just see everywhere and everyone agreed "that was comedy" and it was funny, and equally low brow or highbrow could have it - that type of thing is just gone.

 Similarly, but different is the comedy song. Some parody or jingle, and some self-aware medium energy very simple lyric song that was accepted as one of those things that was in everything whether it be Monty Python or The Simpsons, all the way to Richard Cheese or South Park.  It was a testament to the writing of a thing, "could they do a song?' and its fascinating how many different things attempted it and then how dead it is now.

This movie certainly follows the trend of older comedies by having lots of the "standard jokes" and many of its standard jokes it does time and time again, driving it absolutely into the ground.  It wastes probably 50 or so minutes of this 90 something minute movie on comedy songs, which are like, you know fine, but not incredible or anything. For a movie called Nudist Colony of the Dead there's not a lot of nudity and there's barely any scenes with zombies even, instead we just follow our plucky heroes singing a lot.

Its completely "fine" and "unremarkable" both, I'll give it 2 stars for the light energy time stamp that it is, but this is not like a fun movie really.  Its just sorta a uniquely bizarre thing.

Rottweiler - 2004

 Look, not all of these are streaming or at the library.  The thing about my taste is that it ranges towards obscure sometimes, and some C tier SyFy level dog movie is not going to be the hot item, ever.  So I watched this in Russian with no subtitles on some sketch website.

Added at a time when I was into Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna.  I was describing to my girlfriend, this has always been an interest of mine to see where these guys ended up, and goddamnit if this is not part of the reason why right here:  discovering as I did just now that Stuart Gordon's second to last movie Edmond was a movie that played at my theater when I worked there?  What?!  I never discovered that before?  Also did not know Stuart Gordon passed away in 2020, rest in peace to a great director.

Brian Yuzna appears to be retired after working more recently as an Exec Producer and such, and I think he willingly does not make movies anymore.  With dregs like Rottweiler being probably what was offered to him, it's easy enough to see why. 

Rottweiler has the "oh so intelligent" idea of having a robot-infused-dog chasing after a guy, and that is simple but it takes about 45 minutes to get there.  We see strung out looking Dante as he shoots a dog with a shotgun, which is then returned to life and given robot teeth by Paul Naschy.  Queue an oddly long scene where nude Dante runs from the dog and we almost ALMOST see dick many times.  

For a movie with a dog with robot teeth, this thing is so boring and just does not have any fun to it.  It sounds good on paper, cybernetically enhanced dog in early CGI area.  They got a real dog and they did what they could I guess, but it just sits there.  Its not fun.  There are tits and there is a dick briefly and watching it in Russian was kinda fun, but this movie is not good.  I give it a 1.5

Phantasm - 1979

 My girlfriend joined me for about the last third of this movie (which is a great time to hop in) and I again relayed a thought I've had often.  This is such a bizarrely unknown movie and series of movies, and director, I really don't know why this isn't up there in the same breath as at least the Pinheads, the Leatherfaces, the maybe slightly B tier of horror icons.

I do think this is undersung and underdiscussed.  I had vaguely heard of it in my late teens or twenties, and I think I eventually watched this about 15 years ago on a one off rental.  I was expecting something kinda bad, because I was never that big of a fan of Bubba Ho-Tep and I really disliked both the book and the movie of John Dies at the End.  I was completely blown away by Phantasm though, and I really enjoyed it.

I think Phantasm was on this list before I watched the first one, but then once I watched the first and didn't watch the sequels, this has been on the list.  Phantasm 5 came out about 10 years ago, and as proof this series is undersung it didn't even play in theaters.  So anyways, that's this series history on my list.

A sex scene ends with the woman killing her lover and transforming into The Tall Man.  We follow Mike as he spies on his brother and discovers The Tall Man as well, leading to the first major development:  a flying metal sphere that will drill your brains out!  This is one of the many weapons both physical and not that The Tall Man possesses and now Mike and his brother are set against him.

This movie is a great class in world building if nothing else.  So much of this seems instantly iconic and instantly makes you want to know more.  What is this, where did it come from, how did it work?  These questions abound as you watch decent actors and cool dark scenes in a fast paced horror sci fi flick that is sort of like nothing else.

It's interesting to have a legit long running series that I haven't seen and I'll watch all of.  I mean, I guess I've done it plenty on here, but I'm hopeful and I'm going to be chock full'o takeaways.  Excellent beginning, 4 star horror sci fi premise here.

The Hideous Sun Demon - 1958

 This is likely not the same as From Hell it Came. This is more probably the result of “I do actually like 50s monster movies, here’s an obscure one”.

This is sorta a bucking of the trend for 50s monster movies, and atypical in its execution. Sure, having the monster not in most the movie is common. But this movie is short the old guy character, is short the casual friendliness, is short the stuffy coffee drinking scenes. It’s just short overall really. 

We hop right into it with scientist Gilbert getting exposed to some new type of radiation he's working on.  He goes up to the roof and sits in the sun, soon enough he turns into the Hideous Sun Demon!  He scares an old lady and runs off.  Now he's hyper sensitive to the sun's rays.  To console himself he goes to a bar and meets singer and performer Trudy, a woman who he hits it off with and now he's dragging her in too.

"Yes, with extra anchovies...it's his favorite topping."

The effects are decent, and there was a darker tone to this movie which was fun and different.  The scientist thinks about suicide, he kills someone, and there's a noir element to it that matches well with this genre.  Yet its still 50's as ever with schlocky monsters and a damsel in distress.  An interesting blend and a unique one.

I opted to watch the Rifftrax version, which wasn't their best outing, but hey it's free.  I give it a solid 3.