Red Serpent - 2003

It is rare I guess a movie's year and I am off by 10 years. I guessed 1993. Mind you, I wanted to guess earlier. Cuz this looks that shitty.

Red Serpent stars Roy Scheider in a small role and Michael Pare as the main action hero. Michael Pare has aged well, considering the last thing I saw him in was from the 80's. Roy Scheider is some mob boss and this movie takes place in Russia where Pare's daughter is kidnapped by the Russian mob.

As I watched this, I had a few thoughts. Number one, this is so bad it's good territory. Whenever there is a plot move it feels boring and stupid, but the action scenes, the acting, and the sex scenes are so fucking stupid and poorly done they are laughable, and I mean I did actually laugh. There is a sex scene with Scheider on a pool table, the explosions and the gun shots look retarded, this movie is so bad it's practically mocking itself, yet it is stunning un-self-aware.

The pacing can't quite keep up so it's a bit uneven but the movie ends out in a favorable fashion and if you had a couple drinks like me, you'll enjoy yourself for the plentiful stupid, poorly done moments. 3.5 stars.