Saturday, November 7, 2020

The Thirsty Dead - 1974

Laura Gemser stars in.... oh wait. You're telling me that isn't Laura Gemser?


I can't see how pics will look anymore but anyways, the actress in this I really thought was Gemser.

This is back on the boxset, and since I'm not going to rewatch The Werewold of Washington or They Saved Hitler's Brain, I skip those to and dive right into this super low budget, Philippean made "thriller". Cirio H. Santiago and Roger Corman could do justice to the Philippeans, this movie not so much.

In the beginning we have three white women that are indistinguishable and Laura Gemser hanging out doing whatever when some weird Jawa looking guys kidnap them. They put the girls on a boat and take them to a underground dungeon where an evil cult is sacrificing girls because that's what evil cults do. There is a sympathetic guy played by John Considine who helps them out, and slowly, eventually, an escape plan is forged.

Whoooo this movie was a chore. The dialogue and audio is pure shit first of all, and the movie moves about as slow as shit too. This movie needed, in order to succeed, SOMETHING it brought to the table. Movies bring horror, violence, effects, nudity, strong characters, predicaments, all these things and more make a movie fun. THis movie had zero of that. Instead it settles for skimpy clothed women standing around and mumbling to each other.

The best part of the entire movie was pretending that the guys in huge hoods are Jawas. They appear in the first 5 minutes and then never again. Half a star for fake Laura Gemser (who barely exists in the movie at all).

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