Tales from the Hood - 1995

Horror blends so awesomely with some genres.  There's been attempts seen across the board at blending horror with many different things, and one of the most successful and common genre blends is comedy.  It makes sense from a psychological standpoint as well.  Often times, to cut tension in a scene, to give the audience a break, you'd have a moment of comedy, a moment of disregard for the plot.  Drama, action, science fiction, it all gets a boost from an occasional shift into comedy, a refresher, a breather if you will.

Tales from the Hood is a very nostalgic film for me.  I first saw this (most likely) in the late 90's.  I loved it then, and rewatching it, I love it now.  The mashup of urban street comedy and stereotypical horror tropes makes for a film with a certain undeniable charm and feel to it.

The first few minutes are a microcosm of everything to happen later:  heavy sardonic horror themes, ridiculously great jokes and mocking dialogue, and black culture. The horror feels like Halloween the way you'd always imagine it: eerie old houses, cobwebs everywhere, organ music.  The cliched black thugs appear, apparently losing their way to the set of Menace II Society or some other dramatic film. The friends are Bulldog, Ball and Stack, and they're heading into a funeral home for a supposed drug deal.

 We meet the funeral director and show-stealer Mr. Simms, played by Clarence Williams III (Half Baked) who tells the three men different stories of how people in his funeral home met their demise.  Who doesn't love an anthology film?  As these stories are told at the funeral home, that too becomes a full story, with a twist ending all it's own.

Segment one has rookie black cop Clarence witnessing three awful drug dealing white policemen stop and beat black activist and politician Martin Moorehouse.  First segment in and we're witnessing white cops beating on an innocent black man.  Times sure haven't changed huh?   Clarence has a crisis of faith, but finds possible retribution when Moorehouse speaks to him from the grave and tells Clarence "Bring them to me..."

Segment two is a refreshingly dramatic and realistic story of young boy Walter who is haunted at nights by a monster in his closet.  Walter's teacher Richard, played by the director of the film Rusty Cundieff (Chappelle's Show) takes notice and soon tries to resolve the situation.  This is actually a great affecting story, and it's not straight horror.  A different feel altogether.  David Alan Grier does a tremendous job in a unlikable part.

Segment three is a Puppetmaster inspired take on dolls out for vengeance.  Corbin Bernsen plays a thick headed white politician, Duke Metger.  In our introduction to him, Duke spouts racially charged comments to his publicist.  Duke is living in a mansion that used to be part of a plantation, a site where many black people were killed, and now it's said their spirits live in the house, in the shape of little dolls.  As his racist tirades continue, the dolls get summoned to shut him up.

Segment four, I was surprised I'd completely forgotten about.  It's the story of Crazy K, a criminal who is shot and critically injured by some other black gang.  He is given a second chance through Dr. Cushing, and experiences a hilariously sexual Clockwork Orange type of torture, the end goal of which seems to point towards a race war.

This is an all out classic, essential horror comedy.  It was refreshing to see a movie wherein almost every single part is played by a black person, and often times when there is a white character, they are shady or evil.  The diversity between the plots is great, the effects are all practical and good looking on a slim budget.  There is no reason to not hail this as a classic in horror and a classic in black film.

Burial Grounds: Night of Terror - 1981

Also known as simply Burial Grounds.  Or, known as just The Night of Terror.  Or, Zombie 3.  There's a lot of alternate titles.  Yep.  It's one of those.

When you have zombies, insane effects, bizarre acting, incest, breastfeeding, and loads of nonstop action violence all in one movie, how bad can it be?  I was considering not even writing a review, and I also reserve the right to keep this one short.  It's almost more fun to write movie reviews when the movie is kinda crummy, when there's shit to talk about.  

But from pretty much minute one in the movie, something crazy is going on.  First of all, there's endless nudity and sex.  At several points in the movie, we go from a scene where a couple is beginning to get it on and a zombie attacks them, to another scene where a different couple is getting it on and a zombie attacks them.  It's laughable, but in a fun and awesome way.  

This was towards the end of the prime zombie flicks from Italy.  This is Italian schlock hero Andrea Bianchi, well known for Strip Nude for Your Killer, and What the Peeper Saw.  It's all what you expect.  His filmography.  Go ahead, take a looksie if you want. Soft core porn?  Multiple English pseudonyms? Movies with practically zero knowledge on IMDb?  Random and completely different genres of movies? It's all represented here.  

Previously on here I was describing the various scenes where people in the process of fucking would get attacked.  That's also the plot.  A professor opens a crypt, and this starts zombies reanimating all over the place.  There's a group of people visiting a cool castle in the middle of the woods somewhere, and the zombies begin to kill people.  The remaining people all take refuge in the castle, wondering what the hell is going on.  It goes from there.

The effects I have to say are all pretty awesome.  Whether or not they "make sense" they range in terms of a quick looking makeup job to completely disgusting and awesome.  

It's one of those zombie movies where all the people who get raised must've died at the same time, cause they're all about the same rate of decay.  Ah, classic horror.

Music is good, the movie is quick paced, and simply never slows down.  The acting is all over the place and quite horrible in some places.  Especially when there's a 25 year old guy playing about a 12-13 year old boy who has sexual desire for his mom.  Ah man, what a great time I had.  How weird is it I watched this and the Greek film Dogtooth, and both films had weird incestuous overtones?  Talk about a strange double feature.

I'll give this a classic 4 stars for being what you want from a Italian B or C grade zombie entry.

The Swingin' Seventies - Box Set Review

Hoooo boy.  Jesus christ.  Why the FUCK do I do these things.  I did it.  I actually, actually watched  this set.  If someone said, "Swinging seventies" I could then launch in outta nowhere like a fucking jackhole and say "I watched that."  And what would I mean by that?  I would mean I watched the entire fucking boxset.  It's done.  It's over.

My ex-wife was aware I was watching Mill Creek's Sci-Fi Invasion Box Set.  I'd told her about it a few times, hell maybe even "bragged" that I was going to see every one of those shitfests.  So then, perhaps out of some leftover divorce-driven hatred of me, she got me TWO of these hulking bastards on my birthday.  Look at this monster again, for fucks sake.

24 monstrous discs, with the huge Swingin' Seventies half coming in at 4469 minutes, or 74.5 hours.
Again, I WATCHED IT.

I fucking WATCHED you, you bastard.

I'm fine, I swear.  Now lets get to the long part of this.  These are links, 1-3 sentence reviews, and a final retrospective rating (if I change it or not, we'll see).  See the above link to my Sci Fi Invasion set if you want to see how this works.  Each rated out of 5 stars, listed here alphabetically:

Against a Crooked Sky:  Fittingly enough, this was one where I didn't pay attention a lot.  It's cowboys vs Indians story in the old west.  Kid and old drunkard rescue a girl.  2.5 stars I'll shift to 2.

Border Cop: Telly Savalas is a tough but friendly cop keeping things controlled at the Mexican border.  Average border action and drama ensues. Partially in Spanish with no subtitles.  1.5 stars.

The Borrowers: It's a made-for-TV movie based on the popular book about tiny people living in the floorboards.  Fine enough effects, a bit stuffy of a film.  Yawn inducing for sure. 2 stars.

C.C. and Company: Footballer Joe Namath is C.C. Ryder, a biker rebel in this extremely bland and average biker crime film.  He has the money, baddies want it, girls gets involved.  Ho-hum. 1.5 stars.

Cold Sweat: The director of Dr. No made this Charles Bronson film, written by Richard Matheson, and despite all those names, it's a bland and basic "retired criminal versus the mob" flick. 2 stars.

Concrete Cowboys: One of the many TV pilots that weren't picked up, Tom Selleck and his buddy are drifters turned crime solvers.  It has some likable parts, but it's hard to follow. 2.5 stars.

Congratulations, It's a Boy!: Hey, guess what, Bill Bixby as a playboy finds out he's got a son he never knew existed!  No heavy wacky antics, but instead a slightly heart-warming story ensues.  3.5.

The Cop in Blue Jeans: Italian cop/crime drama with Jack Palance as the baddie, this was successful enough to have 11 sequels!  It's probably likable to some, I found it very average.   It's okay.  3 stars.

Crypt of the Living Dead: I honestly don't remember this movie at all right now.  My review claims it looked old, but was still pretty good.  I remember I paid attention too. Who knows.  3.5 stars.

David Copperfield: I tried to get through this Charles Dickens story of a young man growing up and his life and loves.  I was way too bored and in a negative headspace.  I skipped it.  Not rated.

The Death of Richie: Great actors lift this made-for-TV story of a teenage boy drug addict and his affecting struggle with the drugs.  It's was actually very well done!  4 stars.  I might say 4.5.

Death Scream: Although this occasionally was able to have an atmosphere to it, it was ultimately too long and uneven.  A woman's child is kidnapped, basically.  I gave it 1.5 stars, it might deserve more.

The Driver's Seat: Wacky, uneven and exploitative feature that had Elizabeth Taylor acting crazy as she searches for a man to fulfill her bizarre fantasy.  Nudity helped it to 2.5 stars, it deserves less.

Evel Knievel: An actual biopic on the stuntman would've been pretty cool.  This has parts of that, some to keep you interested, but it hops around too much, and skimps on too many details.  2 stars.

Fair Play: Intensely long feeling, super boring western about some conflict in the small town of Fair Play.  I didn't pay a lot of attention and hated it.  I gave it a rare "frowning face emoji pretzel" rating.

Firehouse: A racially charged drama about a black fireman coming to a all white firehouse in NY, another TV pilot.  The actual TV series dropped the race angle.  It was pretty good. 3 stars.

The Four Deuces: Jack Palance in a bizarre comic-book-style crime film where the tone shifts faster than a stick-shift in rush hour traffic.  I gave it 1 star, it might deserve to get more.

Get Christie Love!: Blaxploitation takes to the small screen as a TV series and then this made-for-TV movie based on the series.  Teresa Graves is good, the action not so much.  Feels toned down.  2 stars.

Good Against Evil:  TV pilot for what I think would've been a interesting show about a cult trying to get an innocent woman and Dack Rambo protecting her, has some supernatural elements, 3.5 stars.

The Gun and the Pulpit: Marjoe Gortner is a criminal with a heart of gold who gets a second chance when he finds a preacher outfit and wears it into the next town, fighting the baddies there. 2.5.

The Hanged Man: A criminal is hung and survives, so he turns over a new leaf and decides to be good now and help fight the local bad guys he used to run with.  Blah, 2 stars.

How Awful About Allan: Even Anthony Perkins and me watching this movie like 3 times couldn't help it.  It's just slow, not that interesting, and has major plot holes upon any examination. Half a star.

Hustling: Based on a newspaper article about prostitution, this has a reporter finding and interviewing streetwalker Wanda about her trade.  Some smart insight, some predictable happenings, but well done and heart felt and well acted.  3.5 stars.

James Dean: Written by James Dean's real life friend, this is an impactful insight not just into an actor and screen legend, but a human being and a character. Very well done.  4 stars.

Jane Eyre: Simple story of a man and woman falling in love, but the man has a secret.  Old timey type stuff I don't normally like, but I thought this was okay.  With George C. Scott.  3 stars.

Jory: Possibly one of the ugliest names on the set, this is a coming of age story with the same actor as The Death of Richie (above) and is well acted.  He grows up in the old west, and it's hard.  3 stars.

Katherine: My intro to the set was a dynamic, stylized, interesting story with Sissy Spacek and other great actors.  It was a amazing start, and still I think an awesome movie.  I gave it 5 stars!

The Klansman: An all star cast, for me, couldn't save this racially charged cops versus klan thing.  It felt like it was sympathetic to the klan, and it wasn't well written enough.  1 star, for the cast.

Las Vegas Lady: Lucky and her friends team up to steal money from a casino in Vegas. It's like a way lower budget, not as good Ocean's 11.  1.5 stars seems right.

F. Scott Fitzgerald and 'The Last of the Belles': Two stories in one, one about F. Scott as he was writing Belles, and then Belles itself.  Neither is likable or well done.  This was a chore.  No stars.

Maybe I'll Come Home in the Spring: Sally Field and other great actors lend power to this somewhat incomplete story of a runaway daughter who comes home to deal with her family. 4 stars.

Mister Scarface: Jack Palance again, and he's a main baddie again, and this times some two guys are teaming up to try to get some money stolen from him.  Mostly bland fair and tedious. 2 stars.

Mr. Sycamore: Trippy little story of a normal guy who one day decides to turn himself into a tree.  He goes out, stands in a hole, and awaits transformation.  I gave it 3.5 stars?!  I'd go to 2/2.5 now I think.

The New Adventures of Heidi: Based on a book, the story of a girl living with her grandfather in the Swiss Alps.  Grandpa starts going blind and she goes to the city with a friend. Somehow I found it emotionally affecting and I gave it 4 stars.  I'd bet it deserves more like 3.

The Proud and Damned: I don't remember this one much, but it was about a couple tough cowboys and a town trying to get them involved in their struggle a la Yojimbo.  Boring, I gave it 1 star.

A Real American Hero: Buford Pusser gets a made-for-TV movie starring Brian Dennehy where they make up some new conflicts for him with trouble makers.  It's whatever.  3 stars, mostly for acting.

The River Niger: James Earl Jones turns in a great performance in a family drama story where they try to tackle a lot of big themes, some of it works and some of it doesn't.  3 stars, again for the acting.

Rogue Male: Peter O'Toole is great as a criminal on the run, playing a game of cat and mouse with local police.  He tries to escape the law after shooting at Adolf Hitler.  4 stars, great movie.

Stunts: Someone is killing stuntmen.  When his brother is killed, it's up to stuntman Glen to investigate and find out what's the deal.  In the meantime, stunts are also performed. 2.5 stars.

The Swiss Conspiracy: David Janssen is the lead man uncovering a conspiracy in Switzerland.  Great location, but plot holes and generally bland feelings slow it down to a crawl of a film.  2.5 stars still.

The Squeeze: Lee Van Cleef and Karen Black.  He's the retired criminal who pulls one last job, gets injured, goes to rest up.  She's the next door neighbor who notices him and gets involved.  3 stars.

They Call it Murder:  A body in a pool, no clear murderer, but the detective in charge questions all the people involved including Jessica Walter, Ed Asner and Leslie Nielsen.  Whodunnit?  3 stars.

To All My Friends on Shore: A Bill Cosby passion project which he helped write and produce, he did music and acted in.  A black family struggles to get by, their son becomes ill, etc.  Decent, 3 stars.

Treasure of the Jamaican Reef: Stellar underwater scenery elevates a simple story of people searching out a treasure.  I thought it was a shark movie for the first hour cause I read the description wrong or something.  If you go into it expecting a shark, really raises the tension.  I give MY experience a 4.

Wacky Taxi: Comedian John Astin wrote and acted in this terrible comedy movie about a guy who randomly decides to start driving a taxi.  It's got zero laughs and is incredibly bad.  Half a star.

Wanted: Babysitter: A kid and his babysitter are kidnapped.  Even with sexy Maria Schneider, this film was way too uneven, hard to follow, and felt like it never decided where it was going.  1.5 stars.

The War of the Robots: A Star Wars inspired Italian space action flick where bald, gold aliens kidnap an American to help them fight their war against silver robot men.  Confusing but fun, 2.5 stars.

Warhead: David Janssen again, this time he's a bomb expert or something and gets called in when a nuclear bomb is dropped and left un-detonated in the middle east. Action ensues, 2.5 stars worth.

The Werewolf of Washington: Dean Stockwell is a politician and assistant to the president when he gets the werewolf curse in this comedy.  Actually funny and well acted!  4 stars seems high though.

The Young Graduates:  Two girls hit the road in this coming of age sort of movie.  A lot happens to them, although nothing seems to make a difference and nothing happens in the end.  1 star seems a little harsh on it though, I might raise it to 2.

So.... reflections I guess.  Looking through the ratings here, 22 movies were rated 3 stars or higher.  Interestingly enough, on the Sci Fi Invasion boxset I gave 22 films below 3 stars, and 28 films 3 or higher.  So in that way, they are exactly opposite.  And yet, when I was watching it, It didn't feel like it was "worse"  Of course 22/28 is a good ratio.  That's almost half the movies where I legitimately sort of liked them.  

The overwhelming feel of a lot of these was there were a lot of TV pilots, made for TV movies on here.  A TV pilot that's made to expand on the characters later, made to not exactly tell you the "whole story" right away can definitely not be the best thing to translate into a movie.  Sometimes it would literally be like two episodes, sort of stitched together.  Thus, a character, in the first episode, would later disappear completely and never be mentioned.  I remember this specifically in Good Against Evil, where the first part of the movie is about one thing, then it changes and it's about something else, with a new idea pushing it forward.  Makes for a uneven and somewhat confusing experience if you have the idea "this is a movie" in your mind.

Again like the Sci Fi set, some of these I wasn't in the mood for, didn't pay attention, or just didn't give a chance.  David Copperfield, Fair Play, Proud and Damned, etc, these ones someone could make a argument I should've seen again.  But you know what?  No.  You do it.  You watch them.

How fast will I get to the Excellent Eighties boxset, you ask?  I've technically already seen at least two of the 80's movies.  It is funny, because I get so used to always having something to see.  I got home last night and I noticed how I automatically reached towards the 70's set.  It's funny how quickly you get used to doing this.  I almost didn't know what to watch once I'd slayed this dragon.  

As a whole set, I'll give it 2.5 stars.  It's not awesome.  It has a lot of weak links in the chain.  I'd actually recommend it mostly for the emotionally charged, decent made for TV movies, which is not what I'd thought I'd come away from this set saying.  Maybe they caught me by surprise, maybe they were actually good.  Who knows.  Either way.  Those are my final thoughts.

Maybe I'll Come Home in the Spring - 1976

Yeeeeeeah!  I fucking did it boy!  For more of this enthusiasm see my next posting on the Swinging 70's boxset.  Maybe I'll Come Home in the Spring (MICHS) finishes it out as I have determined I remembered enough of Werewolf of Washington to justify not seeing it again.  And you know what, I'll say, FUCK this boxset, I'm stomping on ya, motherfucker.

MICHS is a film on the set much like several of the other movies watched herein.  Imagine Katherine, the story of a plucky young woman coming of age and turning into a drug taking, rebellious youth influenced by hippie culture and the way the world is going.  Take a bit of the happy-go-lucky and edge of darkness that a movie like Young Graduates brought us.  And finally, snag in some of the fucked family dynamic and intricate lines of Death of Richie and you basically have MICHS.

MICHS stars a young Sally Field as Denise, a runaway young woman who comes home after an untold amount of time away from home.  She has had quite a lot happen in her life in her time away, parts of it are told, parts are left to our imagination.  Her hippie boyfriend Flack (David Carradine) is slowly revealed in flashback at about the same time he is making his way to where Denise is now living with her parents.

At her parents, Denise is quickly reminded why she ran away.  Her parents are either absent or overly controlling, concerned with the wrong things, and possibly having difficulties in their marriage.  Denise watches them handle her younger sister Susie poorly, and sees that this was exactly how she used to be treated, and why she ran away.  Mother and father in this case are played very well by Eleanor Parker and Jackie Cooper respectively.  Sister Susie also turns in a great performance, played by Lane Bradbury.  And the made-for-TV affair is directed by veteran and well known director Joseph Sargent.

This all sounds like I'm gushing about it, which I have to say I am.  It's good.  It has some really nicely done sequences and it has an impact.  It's small in scope, it leaves the right amount of things as ambiguous, the ending is impactful, and the whole thing feels very true to life.  I felt like a few things maybe could have had a bit more definition, but overall it's a very well done entry.  The 70's set, in other words, kept on nailing the made for TV drama thing.

I would say this isn't quite as good as Richie or Katherine, but it's still remarkable and solid.  I'll give it 4 stars.

The Cop in Blue Jeans - 1976

I need to double check, but I think I have only one movie left.  I am mostly sure.  I'm like 78% sure, but I'll tell you, here's a dilemma:  do I rewatch Werewolf in Washington?  I remember it decently, unlike when I rewatched War of the Robots. Cause if I rewatch it, that means I have two movies left.  Arg. I haven't decided yet, maybe I'll do what I did with Cop in Blue Jeans here and just watch it work, gettin paid by the man to watch shit.  Like a true OG.

I just was on the Wikipedia for this movie, which is a tiny snub and identifies this as another Poliziotteschi Italian film, which is to say police / crime movie.  However, this fucking surprised me:  This movie was highly successful in Italy and had not one not two but fucking 11 sequels!  Are you kidding me?  Nope.  I double checked on IMDb, and 10 sequels and one spin off were made, all 10 sequels had the same actor Tomas Milian as Nico Giraldi.  Wow.  Most successful film I've reviewed on this blog in terms of sequels?  Perhaps.

Cop in Blue Jeans has Tomas Milian as undercover cop Nico, busting criminals all over Italy.  He rides a motorcycle and takes chances, he's rough and ready to rumble, and realizes there's a bigger organization at work.  5 million dollars gets stolen from a mob boss, the mob beats one of the thieves to death, and Nico tracks the other members of the mob gang to find out "wot's uh the deal." It all leads to Jack Palance (naturally) making his third appearance on the set, as Normal Shelley, mob boss and protected US embassy working man-in-charge.

It's all well and good.  It's exactly what you expect.  For the time, I guess it was very likable.  Why?  Good god I don't know.  The whole genre as I gather was a big success in Italy, and they loved the tough cop with a heart of gold character who plays by his own rules...type thingy...  Jack Palance lends some credibility to the thing and even only being in like a fifth of the whole movie, makes for a cool evil boss of course.  The rest of the cast is fine and nothing much unexpected happens.

Despite my earlier Pink Floyd reference, no good music is to be had except the incessant theme that plays endlessly, and does worm itself into your head.  Much things are to be had in this, and what that means, I don't know.  This review is over.

The Beast of the Yellow Night - 1971

Ah, the Philippians.  A place.  Is that all I have to say about it?  Yeah, I think it is.  I'm not super well versed with Filipino movies.  I'm also not well versed in how to spell the different versions of these things, as I got the ol' red squiggly under both of my original spellings.

The best known Filipino movies to me are the Weng Weng classic affairs, and shit that Cirio H. Santiago was pumping out, and Corman's filming he did there, and things like Apocalypse Now filming there...and hang on, maybe I am a bit versed with the Filipino film market.  About as much as anywhere else.  But, one difference, I haven't seen a lot of these.  I think I've seen about 3-4 Santiago films, and I've seen a bit of the Corman ones.

This film was a Corman produced, Eddie Romero directed horror thriller made to capitalize on the werewolf idea, and starring almost 100% American actors.  They were making these with the ideas of producing them somewhere extremely cheap and them marketing them in the US, as was often the way to do it back then.

This one finds American Joseph Langdon getting a curse from the devil early on where he will become a hairy werewolf type beast.  Right away there's issues as he seems to vary between having control of this power and not having control of it, it's not a full moon type affair as it is classically depicted in werewolf films.  I say werewolf, but it's not that.  It's the title, it's beast of the yellow night, and it looks kinda shitty:

It goes about how you'd expect, and eventually the beast here finds friendship in a shady blind old man.  It all comes to a head when he's finally captured by the army along with the blind man, and they begin to march them towards probably death.  The end sequence, about the last 20 minutes was surprisingly solid upon reflection, actually.

I get the feeling now and a little bit then, that this was a film I'd actually seen before.  It has a familiar feeling to it.  And at under 90 minutes it's not going to hold you hostage for any large amount of time, and you might as well see it.  After all, it's about a 3.5 star movie.  It does look later that 1971 too, I was going to guess 1978.

To All My Friends on Shore - 1972

Not all the dramas in the world can be deeply and emotionally affecting.  Right?  Makes sense I suppose.  Word to your mother.

Bill Cosby stars in this as Blue, a hard working man who lives in the ghetto with his wife Serena and son Vandy.  They're the average black family, meaning they're not able to get ahead much in life, they're under-educated and underprivileged, just working hard to get by in the white man's world.  Blue is looking for other work constantly, constantly trying to keep his head up and avoid doing any of the "criminal" type of work that might come his way.

There's life lessons along the way.  Blue is a bit over-controlling with his family and his son, and they don't spend much time together.  The son Vandy feels ousted from the family dynamic, is an outsider at school, and it seems only his mom gets him.  He also seems to get sick way too much, and pretty soon they take him to the doctors again, this time the prognosis comes forth:  Sickle cell anemia.  Now that mother and father know that, what will they do and how will they tell their son?

Bill Cosby stars in this, is credited with the idea behind the movie, worked on the music, and was an executive producer.  To say this was a passion project of his sounds fairly accurate.  It does feel heartfelt, and the acting feels solid.

The character Blue and mother Serena are well acted and stoic, strong figures.  Vandy, played by Dennis Hines, is also well acted, but somehow for me I just wasn't as affected by this.  I think there's a bit of a feeling of "it starts with the characters low, and stays there" instead of having a story arc.  There's also a feeling of almost trying to cram in too much despite needing to feel like the movie was uncluttered.  It ends up feeling like they were just really, really trying.  Which can come off as good, or just obvious.

At not even 70 minutes, it flies right by, and it can't hurt that bad.  It's an easy hop skip and jump of a movie that I was happy to get on the books.  3 stars.

The Four Deuces - 1975

I'm not doing well with the whole "remembering to review the movie I saw" thing here.  I watched this action comedy like last week, I think it was Wednesday?  I don't fucking remember.  This movie was pretty shitty, and actually this was the second time I saw it.  First time I'd put it on in the background while I did other things, and you know what??  SAME with this time.  It counts.  Fuck it.

Jack Palance leads a cast who have been in things, but they're all things I don't know very well.  He's the evil bad guy obviously, and in charge of a "pack of cards" which is I guess his criminal ring.  The four deuces are his trump cards, or top men, and you know, it doesn't matter.  It's a crime caper, and a weird one at that.

They chose to try their hand at infusing this one with comedy and a "style" of it's own.  It has weird animated comic-book type panels complete with sometimes drawing out a scene and then having it start.  It waffles intensely between going for half laughs and being a straight crime with some decently done dark edges, but all in all this all falls apart because of the ensuing uneven tone one is left with.  The movie felt instead like it didn't know what it was going for, and thus never becomes anything at all.

The end scene where it all goes to a gun battle is about as lackluster as anything else, there's a few car crashes and such to be sure, but it's too little too late at that point.  It is exactly what I assumed it to be from the get go.  This is for sure one to put on in the background as you do something else and only look up with hopes of nudity or weirdness (not enough of either to warrant ever looking up).

It's not quite worth a zero star, the attempt at style and occasional good acting gives it a star.

James Dean - 1976

James Dean.  Hollywood legend.  Cultural icon.  We've probably all at least heard of him if we are familiar with older films, classic "golden age of Hollywood" type stuff.  But what do we, as individuals, know of the guy?  I am one of the many perhaps-heathen moviegoers who has never seen a James Dean movie.  And I went into this made-for-TV entry from the Swinging 70's set with no expectations.

This set has really surprised me.  It's all coming up in the 70's set write up that I'll put out once I finish this monstrosity.  I believe I have 5-6 movies left.  And man, I wasn't feeling it at all for a while there.  Luckily I was in a good mood last night and I felt like seeing something biography, and this movie caught my eye.  And it did not disappoint.

Stephen McHattie plays Dean, and he's really great in the role.  Michael Brandon plays Dean's real life best friend and fellow struggling artist William Bast.  The two of them forge a friendship despite many differences at first.  As struggling actors, they work in LA and eventually New York, and we see the gradual life they make for themselves, ultimately resulting in Dean becoming a major Hollywood actor, and later of course a dead-before-his-time legend.

What impressed me about this movie was mainly just how much humanity and depth they give to not only Dean but his friend Bast.  I didn't know it at the time of watching, but this movie was actually written by the real life William Bast, whose relationship with Dean was pretty much exactly as it is in the film.  They are best friends, they struggle with differences, they dated the same woman for a period of time, and even had suggestions of an attraction between them and possibly a sexual relationship if you believe Bast's memoirs.

The humanity they lay on these characters is really nice and it made me have a take away which of course seems obvious.  We all, actors or not, legends or not, successful or not, whatever the case may be, people are all loved by someone.  We are all making an impact every day with what we do and what we say, and who we effect in our lives.  It might sound obvious and insignificant, but the end of this movie is not saying, 'oh how sad that we lost a great actor' the end of this movie is simply a man saying 'I miss my friend and a person I loved'.  It's really simple, beautiful, and the movie makes the point really well.

This boxset so far is truly winning in the area of "made for TV movies that are actually really great, and super affecting emotionally".  I was so energized by this, I almost immediately started another 70's movie, but I voted for Kurosawa instead.  I give James Dean...uh, 4 stars I guess.

Orca: The Killer Whale - 1977

Also known as just "Orca".

I just picked something at random from the library when I was there last.  This is pretty normal for me.  I saw this, and I was in the mood for trashy fun (which is pretty normal for me) and I picked it up expecting something really bad: we're talking no budget, Italian and dubbed, badly paced, and with a whole lot of dialogue filler.

Let's just say that with Orca I was pleasantly surprised!  I went into this, and first it was the cast.  Charlotte Rampling and Bo Derek give a tough competition for which one is looking more beautiful (although for me, it's Rampling any day).  Will Sampson, Robert Carradine, and Richard Harris also star.  What a great cast!

Then it's the titular Orca.  Intercutting from footage of two real orcas and some animatronics built for the movie, they made the creatures in this look goddamn amazing!  I was stunned at how good they looked, and also how much we saw them.  As one will probably know if they've done any research at all, in Jaws we hardly saw the shark.  When we did see the shark, it was mostly near the end, and let's be honest - it didn't look all that great.  The orca in this movie looked so real that animal rights activists were rallying against the filmmakers when the saw the thing being transported.  Of course, in closeups and especially the recurring ones of the orca's eye, it doesn't look too hot though.

Tightly paced, good dialogue, and creating a genuine feeling of suspension, this movie had a lot going for it.  One thing I realized when I was watching it was simply this....get ready to kill me....       I have never really thought that Jaws deserved all the praise it got.  I've never been a "Jaws" guy.  It's fine.  It has a great balance of character development and tension, but I've always felt there was too much time with the guys and not enough with the shark.  When I was watching this, I tried to think about what it was about Jaws I didn't care for, and why, for me, this would be a better film.

I think it all comes down to horror, thriller, and aesthetic feel.  Jaws is a great character story with a shark in it.  This is a shark story that has decent characters in it, but it is first and foremost a horror film.  It goes for the gruesome more, and for me that's what I want.  As far as actors go, I'd say these two movies are very close, although I do like Roy Scheider a lot.  When it comes to music, the epic John Williams is actually quite well met by Ennio Morricone.  What can I say, they didn't skimp on this one, and it's a very worthy "copycat".

Sometimes the B grade movies everyone forgets about or assumes are shitty are quite good.  I was going to write a review of Luigi Cozzi's Contamination.  I didn't feel like it, but it's the same thing.  People might think it's just a cheesy Alien rip off, but it too is amazing and a lot of fun.  I give Orca a great 4 star rating.