Monday, February 19, 2024

Hellraiser: Inferno - 2000

 I've reached the part of these movies where most people stop, and where they get truly horrible,

I think it's poignant that on Wikipedia they specifically say "this was not adapted from a pre-existing script with a mild shoehorning to put cenobites into it".  You're denying that FACT because it is true and you really don't want people to know it!  Right?!  Surely this was not the original idea for a Hellraiser movie.

I know that horror movies change genre and experiment around...I get it, and I like Halloween 3 a lot actually, and I am up for a lot when it comes to these.  But the trick is to have that balanced with either good writing, or a decent actor, or just SOMETHING.  Also, maybe try keeping it the horror genre?  At least?

Instead, this is a detective movie, this zero charisma cop guy finds the puzzle box, opens it, begins to see hallucinations of cenobite twins occasionally, but basically this box barely affects him.  Instead, he goes about searching for "The Engineer" an unknown baddie which I guess kidnapped a child.  He goes about, the plot chugs right along, things kind of happen, and then it all wraps up in a twist ending which you'll see coming.

I mean, I just don't know why you take a dark, bloody, gothic series about torture and the fallacy of mankind, man's greed for blood and his taste for violence, and turn it into this. Once Pinhead does show up, at the very end, for a 2.5 minute scene, the reveal is dumb, and it doesn't fit with the other movies either.  They don't do this shit!  This is not their bag!  They use hooks and chains and CDs like in the last movie.  They don't just talk you to death.

This movie is boring, flat, not even remotely scary, again, pretty sure it's not supposed to be...  I don't know.  Don't watch this.  I'll give it half a star for the very end.

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