Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Monster - 1980

Copied right from Wikipedia:   released in 1980 as Monstroid, and is also known as Monstroid: It Came from the Lake (American DVD box title) and The Toxic Horror (American alternative title).

So it's got an identity crisis, what else do you expect from a low-fi, indie horror film?  You know what this website is seriously running low on at this point - reviews of movies that I watched while drinking.  Yeah I know, there are some on here, namely It's Alive.  But I've not done that for quite a long time.  I don't know why I specifically mention this right now....  But damn it, I went out and bought 4, yes 4 different types of malt liquor.

Now, I would normally say "I'll drink them all for you, my gigantic fanbase!"  But I drank too much on Sunday, and things went kinda badly, so I'm not going to do that.  Especially because 4 bottles amounts to 112 ounces of highly alcoholic beer.  I got two 40's: St. Ides and Colt 45, and then two 16 ouncers: Schlitz and Magnum.  So, I'm rocking the kwality!

Monster is your average sort-of Jaws, sort of whatever ripoff horror film, getting back on subject.  Taking into account that this film was actually started in 1971 but was only done and released in 1980, it makes more sense to think of it as early 70's than 80's.  It's got that low quality shittiness of the 70's crusted all over it's stupid face.

Monster stars John Carradine in a I-was-on-set-for-only-two-days type role; a religious guy who never really does anything noteworthy.  Other than that it has James Mitchum, and a bunch of other unknown people.  It is about, well, guess.  A monster.  In a lake.  That's killing people.  And it feels made for TV.

I wanted to compare this to 2003's film Monster with Charlize Theron, because why shouldn't I?
- both films are set in backwoods communities filled with ugly, disgusting people
- both films make their stars look awful (Monster 2003 just did it with makeup, this film actually made them look like bad actors)
- ummm, this is getting hard.  Both films starred some well known people?

Okay, fuck that.

Monster 1980 is pretty bad.  It's just got that typical like, who cares type of layout.  Characters you won't like, lack of a central character, side plots that might just make you depressed, and a whole lot of lack of death.  Monster kills some people, sure, but not nearly enough.  Just like most of these movies they rely on the Jaws idea of not showing the Monster, and in this, well it goes averagely.  Not a lot of suspense or chilling parts to it.  Mostly you know when a death was coming.

It is interesting that if this had this been released closer to when it actually started production in 1971, it could have come out before Jaws and seemed original.  But since it came out after Jaws, it's looked at as a rip off.  Hm.  Well, whatever.  I'm not going to dwell on it.  This movie is perfect for drinking to, ignoring, sleeping through, or just walking away from.  It's not scary but has some schlock and ridiculousness appeal.  I'll give it 2 stars.

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