Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Breeders - 1986

Ya like girls, right sonny?  No, I'm not your creepy uncle Larry.  By the way have you noticed that most bad movie seekers are guys?  Why is it such a sausage fest in the bad movie followers?  I start the blog this way because this movie has a whole lot of female nudity in it.  There are breasts, butts, and even some pubic hair.  There's something similar to nude yoga, and multiple scenes of girls in the buff walking around.  I have also seen the remake of this film from 1997.

It is kinda funny that this was remade in 1997 and that I saw it, without knowing it was a remake.  I saw the 1997 version because it was directed by the same dude who did Grim.  I wanted to check out another monster movie he'd made.  Why I didn't review it, I dunno.  I was still thinking that I should stay true to the blog name.  Although, back then the blog had a different name.  So I guess that's an irrelevant point.

Breeders is your typical alien comes to Earth, kills girls plot.  In this one, the alien needs to infest itself in virgin women so that it can reproduce.  There will be bodies, oh yes. This movie is most def for that inner dirty ol' man in all of us men.  It's pretty cool to see the bodies of the girls, these were real looking girls, not huge actresses or anything.  They weren't fake, they have obvious tan lines, etc.  But I love real nudity in this style way more than the other shit we get piled with now.

The acting and especially the dialogue is pretty not-so-good.  But we're not really watching the movie for that.  What this movie does offer is a very short, very breastified romp with a unseen monster, a hot black girl main character, and your typical array of policemen who are ineffective.  There's also Detective Dale, who is the only real major male character in the film.

This movie is pure sleaze, made for the three reasons that guys check out girls.  It has a small amount of blood in it, some decent effects, some okay music, and it seems like the budget was okay enough.  It's nothing hugely special to write home about.  It doesn't have that huge likability factor to it that some others do, and I doubt this one has a huge following.  Although, I could be wrong.  I'm not saying I didn't like it.

I love the description on Amazon:  "An alien life force descends to Earth in the form of spores and uses the bodies of beautiful women as reproductive hosts. In HD."  I just love the In HD part really.  Now I know, it's not part of the plot.  I'm just saying it sounds so much like a weird afterthought, or like "Hey bonus!  in HD!"  I want to see a movie where the plot line is "A huge fucking monster kills people with electric semen.  In HD"

It was good!  A little on the predictable, exactly-the-same-as-many-others way maybe.  3.5 stars.

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