Sunday, August 30, 2020

Universal Soldier: The Return - 1999

I guessed this was later on, but also cause I thought this was the fifth one in the series. This however, was the fourth one. I was so far off.

JCVD is becoming my staple in this blog recently. I've just been renting whatever the library has with him, and these giant multi-pack DVDs are perfect for me. I put this on, I might have been drunk, I really don't remember.

Bill Goldberg, Michael Jai White and of course JCVD star in this tired, tired entry of the series. And you know what? It's okay. In this one, JCVD is the good guy and he is basically Kyle Reese from Terminator, protecting various people from these sorta maybe cyborg-ish baddies coming. These baddies are mostly Goldberg, who shows his strength by especially doing a spear on a lab technician once. Then randomly Michael Jai White also shows up, as another baddie who JCVD has to combat. It's all whatever.

The music was pretty awful also. It's that real, real late 90's nu metal and it was downright laughable. Check out the tracklist:

1. Crush 'Em" – Megadeth
2."Remain Calm" – One Minute Silence
3."Awake" – Clay People
4."Crazy Train" – The Flys
5."Bled For Days" – Static-X
6."Fueled" – Anthrax
7."Majic, No. 3" – Jact
8."Hatred" – D Generation
9."Securitron (Police State 2000)" – Fear Factory
10."Eureka Pile" – Ministry
11."Chaos" – Tim Skold
12."Saddam A-Go-Go" – Gwar
13."Target: Devereux" – Don Davis
14."Supernova Goes Pop" – Powerman 5000

Great shit. I give this movie 2 90s stars.

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