Jason X - 2001

I was doubtful if I was going to review this movie or not.  Sure, I have reviewed a lot of the Friday the 13th series and I was always against reviewing any of them at all, because I didn't think they fit the "nature of this blog".  But who am I kidding.  There's no reason to do that.  No one cares.

Jason X was scripted and made while Freddy Versus Jason was being conceived and in development hell.  There was a brief stint when they wanted to make another Jason movie to I dunno, remind the audience who he was.  They got a random assortment of people involved including director David Cronenberg, and at some point the idea came up, take Jason to space.  Okay.  Sure?

Jason X is by no means a real movie.  This isn't real, right?  This is some alternate dimension where the Jason series would've made sense going to space.  Of course, this wasn't the first nor the last horror movie to randomly take it's franchise and it's killer to space.  Hell, I even reviewed the Leprechaun movie where the Leprechaun goes to space.  Ugh.  Why, god?

Jason X in the beginning is in the far off year of 2010 when we have technology to effortlessly freeze people with cryogenics.  He is killing people at the cryo lab and eventually main girl Rowan gets him locked in a cryogenics freezing chamber.  He's frozen along with her, fast forward to the year 2455 and now it's the future where Earth is gone, Earth 2 is around, and amazing space technology exists.  They bring Rowan back to life and of course Jason comes back to life soon enough as well, and now Jason is on the loose again!  In space!

And...it's not that bad.  It's pretty lame and stupid obviously, but it's dumb enough to be fun, and it is for sure making fun of itself.  Eventually there's a robot that kills Jason, and these robot ants rebuild Jason into "Uber Jason" and he's got a metal body and a new mask, and it's somewhere around this point you just accept your lot in life, and take it for the nacho cheese flavored dipping sauce it is.  This is by NO MEANS made to be taken seriously, and in a way it's almost making fun of the very idea of Jason just by existing.  It shares a similar feel to the self aware horror movies that had been coming out previously like Scream.  It also reminds me of the huge departure made with Slumber Party Massacre II.  But that was a significantly bad film, whereas this one is more baffling.

It's hard to rate this.  This is not a horror movie, nor is it a proper sequel.  I could be extremely harsh on it, yelling about it's lack of really keeping with the series.  But then, I would have to throw Jason Goes to Hell, probably Manhattan, and definitely Jason VII and probably Jason V under the bus as well.  I think it's only fair to say that most likely, this is not canon.  Hell, what the fuck does canon even mean anymore?  Does anyone really care?  I sure fucking hope not.

I guess it can have a middle of the road 2.5 stars.  Not sure what else to give it.  It does entertain, it's for sure one to watch with friends while you drink and smoke.  Not a movie to ever critique as an actual film, that's for fucking sure.