We have had a long succession of good horror movies, or at least decent, on this blog. We've had a lot of recent reviews of the Friday the 13th series, the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Elsewhere in the blog I have Chucky and Children of the Corn and fucking.... The Howling and Witchcraft and the point is, I've reviewed a fuckton of horror movie sequels. If you think I'm going to link to all my reviews, you are dead wrong, you find that shit for yourself. So why is it that despite my numerous horror movie sequel write-ups, most of the movies have been okay? Make way for a real shitty one.
The Slumber Party Massacre is a very decidedly decent horror movie with a lot of tits, blood and thrills. It breaks some norms by having the killer not wear a mask, speak a few lines of dialogue near the end, and then surely die in the end, where it would be pretty hard to bring him back to life. It follows most of the slasher rules, and I'd say it's not necessary nor is it one to avoid. For completion or even just casual slasher fans, I'd say sure, take a looksie.
Slumber Party Massacre II, uh what the fuck happened here? My first guess was that the director simply had a background in MTV or filming music videos and decided to bring her scope of that to a horror movie... My second guess was that maybe they saw the popularity of music videos and MTV and decided to up the appeal factor by having their horror movie chock full of similar nonsense? I mean, I could guess about this forever. IMDb gives no information on wtf happened.
You'd think this would be a situation where it's like 'how can you go wrong?' It's a fucking movie called slumber party massacre! Like the first one, you make a movie where a bunch of dumbass teens are spending the night in a house, some killer gets loose, and he comes after them, perhaps drawn to their nudity like an bee is to flowers. But I knew I was in for trouble when, 40 minutes in, no killer had even appeared yet, and I was legitimately just watching teen girls talking and joking about their classes and boys.
I realize there's going to be people out there who liked the sequel. It takes an almost version of Nightmare on Elm Street, where the main girl Courtney (who was in the first movie, but here is a different actress) is seeing visions of the driller killer from the first movie, and no I'm not referring to the 1979 film The Driller Killer. Intercut with the killer is this random music video-esque footage of a leather clad rockstar who has a guitar with a drill on it. There's music and smoke and lighting and I begin to think, are we going to have a fucking SONG here? And sure enough, if you actually sit through this steaming shitpile of a movie, there is eventually a musical. In a horror movie.
And I'm sure that others, who like the camp, who are not looking for a horror movie, who are looking for something else, maybe this is their speed. It is certainly different, it's a different side of the 80's coin than the one I've been looking at in this blog as of late. But christ, I just was not in the mood for this, as I was trying to have a 80's slasher marathon last night! If it was still entertaining, if it had fun jokes and stuff, I'd be all for it. But the comedy is bad and the movie is SLOW as fuck. Nothing happened for a long time, and then the end is jam-packed like crazy. Yo, spread that shit the fuck out. Also, what's with all the straight-down-the-barrel camera shots, people looking directly at the camera as they talk?! Get a real fucking cinematographer!!!
I'll give Slumber Party Massacre a 3.5. As I think about it, the only issues it had were maybe, too much screen time for the villain, and it felt for sure exploitative. But it was fun.
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