Thursday, May 19, 2016

The Impossible Kid - 1982

I've written in the past about my hatred for the portmanteau of words in exploitation.  Just because it involves nuns, Canadians, Bruce Lee, etc, does not mean it needs to be called nunsploitation, Canuxploitation, or Bruceploitation.  And yet, I don't know of a term for exploitation of midgets?  Well Im'a google it.  Let's see.  Midgetsploitation.  What do you know, jack shit.  See, my point exactly, wha-bam.

This movie is not abashed with the shit it rips off either.  Whether it's the Pink Panther theme, James Bond, or just about any other spy movie.  It also features a villain who looks like a KKK member.  But the real, for real attraction here is Weng Weng, the midget actor and main star of this film.  Standing at 2'9" tall, Weng Weng was a popular star in the Philippians during the late 70's, early 80's.  Again, we're on familiarly known cult film territory here.

And just like a lot of these ones, it deserves it.  It's just so weird!  There's a part where Agent 00 (nice name huh?) dives into a pool from like 8 stories up.  Some hairy fat guy scoops him up, calling him "little boy" and telling him he's "pretty...and handsome too!"  It's a moment of pure bliss wherein if you're like a good ol' beer or 6 deep you're gonna be laughing.

Weng Weng isn't a great actor per say.  He's not a terrible martial artist, though, so the fights are fun.  They obviously spent some time making each one fun and worked his height into it somehow.  But the guy has few lines and it's apparent why, he is pretty much emotive-less and better at doing than saying or acting.  The others in the movie are fine and passable.  There's not a ton of screen time among the others in the flick, and they aren't asked to do much so it's hard to judge.

The basic idea in the movie is that the KKK member crime boss named Mr. X kidnaps some guys and holds them ransom for one million dollars.  They want to pay and be done with it, but Interpol knows better and sends their top agent, Agent 00 in to stop Mr. X.  Weng Weng as Agent 00 is in fight after fight, and along the way you'll probably forget what exactly he's doing and why, and how it fits into the Mr. X thing, but you'll still have fun and possibly get a laugh.

The comedy isn't exactly funny, but if it catches you by surprise you might let out a chortle.  The gags are few, mostly it's the "funniness" of watching 00's antics, like when he jumps his bike across a gap, or when he parachutes with a bed-sheet. etc etc.  No written comedy really.  Or maybe just none I found funny.  At one point Weng Weng is trapped in a bird cage, that was mildly amusing.

Definitely smoke a ton of bowls for this one, with some friends, if you get my drift.  That will lift it from a pretty "ehh whatever 2 star experience" to "the best fuckin movie ever".  I do have one cool story, I watched the other Weng Weng movie "For Y'ur Height Only" about 6 years ago while on vacation with the wife (then girlfriend).  I made her watch some lame midget themed foreign action movie and that night I still got laid.  That's when you know she's the one.  3 average whatever stars.
Um, why is she showering with underwear on, and also without a shower curtain?

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