JCVD is a suicidal ex marine or something who hangs out with his sort of imaginary, sort of real friend played by Danny Trejo. JCVD gets roped into the drama of a small desert town when he gets robbed at gunpoint and left for dead. Three local inbred weirdos and their dad make JCVD be out for vengeance and he meets up with a local hot chick at a restaurant, and shit gets all weird.
What else to say about it? Oh! There is a scene where JCVD is wearing only underwear and Danny Trejo massages his feet. I bet some people were regrettably rock hard during that scene. Ummm, classic JCVD ass shot. There's a bit of topless nudity. There is a few cool action scenes I guess. I was 99% sure Trejo was imaginary the entire time except at one point the bad guys capture him and kill him. That was weird.
I texted my buddy during it and described it was "nowhere near even the top 20 of the best JCVD films". It's kinda boring and it is nowhere near as funny as it wants to be at a lot of times. 2 stars.
Update: I just discovered this is sort of inspired by Kurosawa's Yojimbo, which I could totally see. Also, this is directed by Rocky and Karate Kid director John G. Alvidsen. Weird.
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