Monday, December 5, 2016

Galaxina - 1980

If I had to describe Galaxina in just a short wrap-up, with no review present, I'd simply say: "A waste of money and time, one star" and be done with it.  I don't have to do that, but I do feel like keeping this one pretty short and sweet.

Galaxina was an early spoof of Star Wars, and indeed sci-fi in general.  Star Trek, Alien, Star Wars, 2001: A Space Odyssey, yes those films and more have been spoofed to a greater or lesser degree by Galaxina.  No, of course Galaxina did not do it well, were you actually asking that?  Yeah, I'm tellin ya man, those movies can be riffed, but this is not the film to do it.

We join the space ship Infinity as it cruises through the galaxy.  The captain is Cornelius Butt.  Yep, this is the kind of "comedy" they can come up with in this one.  Get it?  His name is Corn Butt.  Like as in, Corn you get it?  This is what passes for comedy as ol Corn Butt and his small crew go through the galaxy.  They fly with an old Chinese man who spouts off fortune cookie "Confucius Say" type of stereotypical things, a cigar smoking beefy dude, a black guy alien with wings, and a redneck character that never does anything much.

The plot is that they are looking for the Blue Star, which is some mega-powerful jewel.  In the meantime semi-main character Thor and Galaxina are falling in love, the side characters are being annoying or are barely there, and various sci-fi things are riffed on with a very low percentage of being riffed very well.

This falls into the same category of my last review, Morons from Outer Space.  See, I jumped across to America, and this one is getting slammed as well.  I don't discriminate!  I also started this one at least twice, turning it off each time.  I finally put it on last night, and watched the whole fucking thing.

This movie is named Galaxina, is known for starring a Playboy playmate, but there is no nudity from her, and her character is basically third or maybe even fourth fiddle in the plot lines.  Her story basically has no real interest, as we can see it coming, and about 45 minutes in it stops being front and center.  The Blue Star and the ridiculous shit surrounding it is really the plot, and it's okay.

To get to the money wasting part, this movie obviously had a budget.  Sure,  not a huge one, but this movie does look quite good in a lot of scenes.  The outer space scenes are done for a laugh but they still look quite good.  Also, the general production value and the look of the flick is good.  Those things should be given as props.  Which help the rating stagger up to an entire star.
Here's a quick preview of not-the-reason-this-was-rated-R.  Seriously why hire a playmate if she stays in clothes?

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