Project Metalbeast - 1995

Aww fuck it. I dialed in this Amazon 90s fare expecting and wanting slush and that's what I got.

It took me a bit to watch it and I don't exactly remember the why or how of the flick but that's sorta the point now isn't it? To be mildly entertained and that's it?

Project Metalbeast is some stupid movie with Barry Bostwick and no one else memorable and essentially it's the whole "government creates monster" thing.

This time it's a psuedo werewolf and its out for blood. Thing looks pretty good too! So the effects deliver and the plot who cares and that's all ya need right?

Could've had more monster, but it was never gonna get more than a 1.5 anyways.

Sister Street Fighter - 1974

One more Street Fighter movie down... This one I'd for sure not seen before.  At this point in the series I believe it really went off the rails, though I'll have to check imdb later to be sure.

From my memory, Karate Bear Fighter and Karate Bull Fighter remain. But this was a departure by taking Sonny Chiba and putting him in more of a cameo role, as the main character is clearly the "Sister".

Sister Street Fighter has this innocent enough girl go against bad guys and seek revenge, but the plot takes too much dialogue as we wait for shit to happen. I fell asleep the entire film the first watching.

Gone are the cool effects and editing, gone is the charismatic main hero, gone is the music (mostly) and instead this sorta becomes a rape and revenge standard 70s grab bag.

Sonny Chiba appears in the very ass end and helps save the day, as if to cement the point that even though this is Sister Street Fighter, she can't actually defeat the baddies alone.

half a star.

The Suckling - 1990

I've had movies be reviewed multiple times on this site but I don't know if I've completely changed my mind on any. I re-watched The Suckling, which is not one that I ever thought I would re-watch. My original review spoke so negatively of it that I actually think I must have watched something else. This movie didn't seem familiar at all.

What you have is the story of a woman who goes to a crazy abortionist in the very beginning and in possibly some of the most graphic fashion I've ever seen we see an aborted fetus get dumped down the tubes. The fetus somehow comes alive and starts to mutate, with no explanation that I could remember.  Then it attacks a whorehouse full of random people... Yes we're talking a movie that is riding that self-aware wave.

But it's not bad. The music in the beginning is great, the acting is all over the place, but is often so bad it's good, the effects are amazing. I'm sure  this person must have come from an effects background. I already know without checking that these effects guys have worked on other things and are probably well known.

Eventually we get stuck where it's a bunch of guys in a locked house talking, and sometimes the dialogue and the pacing isn't the best, but I think they also knew that it wasn't going to be so they tried to keep things happening throughout. A lot of times the politics of the group in the house as well as the overall threat of the monster are both entertaining enough to keep it from getting too dull.

I'm fucking convinced that I haven't seen this before and it would for sure be a great midnight movie type of thing. Drinky, Smokey, Friends one, sort of pay attention and sort of do something else. Four stars.

Return of the Street Fighter - 1974

And we're back with the return of Sonny Chiba as the Street Fighter which came out the same year as the first film. I might as well review these since I have them on a box set, right? I don't feel like I'm watching any movies these days at all so at least you're getting something.

In the sequel we have some flashbacks to the first film including the last testicle ripping scene, and we have another plot about Sonny Chiba being on either side for some sort of political nonsense plot line. All culminates in the fight scene towards the end, and I will say that this time they needed more action.

The music is back, the clothes are back, the over-the-top acting is back, and it definitely entertains a lot. However, like I was saying, I could have done with a few more action scenes especially in the beginning.

Some nudity in it this time was nice and there is a funny scene where Sonny stabbed someone with a gun.. oh, yes you read that right.

3 stars