Sunday, October 18, 2020

Glass Jungle - 1988

I bought this one randomly on VHS from a local store. It looked fucking stupid, I need no explanation besides that if you've ever read this blog. Dog.

Joe Canalito was either a boxer or a football star, I don't remember, but he wanted to switch to acting like so many others, and had a brief stint in Hollywood where he was cast in this dumbass movie. In this one, he's a LA cabbie driving people around and getting mixed up into the plans of baddies and goodies alike.

He is a entirely charmless character, thinly written and badly acted. We start with the fact it always sounds like he is reading directly off a page, emoting nothing, and it goes from there. This is a great riff material movie. I am frankly shocked Rifftrax hasn't done this movie yet. This is right in their wheelhouse.

He gets involved in some crime, I don't remember the details, and he gets entangled with the girl, and we have a flashback about how his last girl died, and there's other irrelevant stuff as well along the way. There's also plenty of scenes where he drives around, doing cab fares or not, and they even had their own 3-4 minute Glass Jungle song that plays at one point! That was hilarious.

I liked this in a so-bad-it's-good type of way, and was excited to watch it with my friend while we drank, but I was actually surprised that he didn't enjoy it. It's not even 80 minutes when the credits roll, so I thought it was perfect, but I guess I mean to say you'll either like or hate it. He described it as insanely slow....which it really, really is.

I will give it 3 stars still though.

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