Troll 2 - 1990

 I put on Troll 2 randomly last night.  It had been a few years.

I think I first saw this in about 2005, 2006 when I was living with my first roommate.  It didn't have the cult following then that it does now, it was just a subpar cheesy horrorish movie that was extremely dumb.  But in that way it was like a lot of others, I guess.  I think I was mildly shocked when it became "well known" later, and I know at some point I did watch the fan documentary about, Best Worst Movie.

Troll 2 is the sequel to Troll, some dumb borderline fantasy thriller adventure almost horror psuedo kids movie, or at least mid teens movie that could have only been made in the 80s because of who it was made for.  Troll was whimsical and magical, but downright destructive in some of the themes, and this movie is similar.  This is a weird ass time for kids movies, but I'll take it over films now that are just kiddy.

Troll 2 is famously poorly acted, with ridiculous lines that sound as unnatural as a 7-Eleven plate of nachos.  The trolls, or really goblins because there are no Trolls in the movie, as short actors in rubber masks, sometimes where you can clearly see they're masks, and sometimes having speaking parts where their lips do not move.  There are camp performances from villains and heroes alike, and really, really ridiculous moments which make it fun.

This is a great group movie to put on and have fun with, and I did have fun last night.   It had likely been over 10 years since I had seen this, and I enjoyed rewatching it.  I'll give it 4 cult flicks outta five.

The Howling: New Moon Rising - 1995

 I started this series way back in the beginning, building towards rewatching The Howling, and now that I did, well shit I might as well finish out the series huh?

Jesus fucking christ though, yikes.  I wasn't ready for how bad this was going to be.  I mean, need I say any more than this:  this is supposed to be a comedy.  I've said it before, I will say it again, there is nothing worse than a bad comedy.  And this one is especially bad.

The writer director Clive Turner apparently worked hard to have this movie connect to the other sequels to The Howling.  Turner had been working on this series since The Howling 3, and here, I mean I have no idea how this connects.  There's in fact very little about this I do know...

This movie stars a bunch of non actors in a non plot having film.  The plot is basically someone comes to town and bodies begin to pile up, and some people think it's a werewolf.  Meanwhile, a bunch of interactions happen, nothing important though, just stuff like relationships and dancing scenes, and stupid crap that looks like a soap opera from TV.  There's also multiple scenes of people sitting around playing music, and the "score" is just random wailing guitars.

Somehow this was not the last in the series, but it should have been.  Hell, this one shouldn't have even existed.

It has minor...repeat MINOR so-bad-it's-good qualities, but it is overall just plain bad.

Hellhounds of Alaska - 1973

 Well I am hungover and working, which means a movie is on in the background.  This one is also knows as: The Bloody Vultures of Alaska.

Doug McClure stars in this German-made adventure flick set in Alaska, where he's the good ol' boy who is protecting some kid when the area is beseiged by robbers after some gold.  It's a thin plot for a made-for-TV feeling movie.

There's nothing to say about this except that it looks like a true antique from a bygone era, which it is I guess so that's no surprise.  It's slow, it's kinda dull, nothing much happens, and there's no intrigue or plot twists to speak of.  Doug McClure is clearly an inspiration for Chuck Norris, and that aside, it's unnoticable.

The Descent - 2005

The Descent.  Remember that one?  The horror movie that hit big in the mid 2000's?  I do.

The Descent was a big hit when it came out.  I remember my friends in the theaters and my movie dudes being into this, talking about it a lot, and this movie made some waves.  From my memory I saw this when it was pretty new on DVD, and I remember being a bit disappointed / thinking it was overrated.  So how will it stand up almost 20 years later?

I watched The Descent with my buddy Matt a couple of nights ago while we sat there kinda drunk and waited to be impressed.  The Descent is a cave-based horror flick, one that is built with clautraphobia as well as creatures as the antagonists, and like I said, big big hit which seeped into popular culture.

That is basically the plot: girls go into a cave, there's baddies in the cave, they all try to survive.  Early on into the movie, they are taking a random cave tour after their friend has a near death experience, and they apparently take a random tunnel which collapses.  Now they are in an alien part of the cave and they are coming closer and closer to some part where there are creatures.

First of all, there's barely even any jump scares in this.  There's maybe like 4.  Which is light, that's all I'm saying.  Then, the rest is just a horror movie, and I guess it's fine.  They stay with the creatures a lot, and it reminds me of Aliens in that way, where we follow the creature when there is no one around which would be seeing it.  

I didn't really know why it was so successful then, I don't really know now?  It's not like it's BAD, it's just sorta like a average whatever horror movie.  I give it a 3.